The Simple Change That Stops A Marriage Becoming Sexless

Published: Thu, 10/16/25

Updated: Thu, 10/16/25

Hey brother,

First, I want to invite you to our next group coaching call today, Thursday 16th October at 12pm mountain time.

In this call we're going to talk about an "uncomfortable truth" about how women think and feel about "love". As much as we would love a simple, practical guide to her "love language", most women can't even pick a love language!

There's a deeper level of connection most women crave and that is to

"feel seen, heard and understood". But what does that even mean?

And is it really as hard as it sounds?

We will talk about:

Why early stage love ALWAYS meets her need for feeling loved

Why later stage love always erodes those feelings

What men really want and why it's not really different

How to think more clearly about what "attunement" means in a relationship

How to BE a man who creates deeper connection without struggling to "figure her out".

This is going to be a great conversation! If you're looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you'll love this Roundtable session!

If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching Community here.
(You'll also gain access to 6 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).

Now onto today's newsletter...

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What can working with horses teach you about sex?

Uncomfortable and unsure men treat horses just like they treat their intimate partners.

I know *I* did when I first started working with horses.

I was tentative, unclear, unsure and a little nervous when I tried to "GET" a horse to do something.

When we're tentative, unclear, unsure and nervous we are always "trying to GET" someone or something to give us something we really, really want.

With horses and women we're trying to GET them to cooperate with our requests. When I first started with horses, there was a lot of:

"Why don't you JUST do this??" and,

"Why won't she respond to my direction?" and,

"I think this horse hates me or something!".

I always felt tentative in the beginning. I was unclear and unsure about HOW TO ASK for what I wanted.

Trainers told me, "If you don't lead her, she will assume you can't lead and she'll have no option but to lead YOU."

Do you feel sometimes like you're constantly on your heels trying to ask her just the right way? Do you ever feel unclear, unsure or even NERVOUS when initiating intimacy?

Watch this video first to find out why I'm asking.

The Simple Change That Stops A Marriage Becoming Sexless

Here's the point. If we complain about what we're not "getting" from women, it's a good sign we're probably afraid to "give".

Afraid to give?

Yeah, but it's not like you're "afraid of her".

If you're anything like most of us, you're "afraid" of looking silly. "Afraid" of being being rejected. "Afraid of feeling like a loser."

We're most "afraid" of looking or feeling like a damn Pu$$y.

Yep. I said it. This is directly reflected in the shame research done by Dr. Brene Brown when she studied men vs. women.

While women are most terrified about feeling or being perceived as NOT GOOD ENOUGH...men are most terrified about feeling or being perceived as WEAK.

This is why the whole topic of EMASCULATION is talked about so much these days.

An emasculated man has allowed himself to be put into a place in his relationship where he FEELS WEAK. And he hates that! And he's afraid OTHER MEN might see him as weak too.

When a man feels powerless, all he can do is complain about what those in power are not doing for him.

It's time to stop complaining and start LEADING.

This doesn't require confidence...it just requires courage to adopt a new way of thinking, speaking and behaving around those you believe have "all the power".

This applies in the romance and sex department.

It applies to how you parent your kids.

And it applies to how you're managing your business or career.

So what now?

You know what now.

I want you to join our Tribe of men who are working on improving their leadership skills.

It's the most powerful, courageous, compassionate and fun-loving group of men you'll ever have in your life.

After 12 years of leading this community, that's a promise, not a damn sales pitch.

If you want to be more courageous in leading the intimacy in your marriage, you need to be more courageous about making a decision right now, in this moment.

Pick ONE THING below to get yourself off the bench.

Then, pick another. Then...another. It gets easier. I promise.

$149 One-Time Payment: The Goodguy2Greatmen 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage - if you need an instant change in your life and relationship Dan and I created our most powerful short course to help you start feeling more calm and confident and to know what actions to take to start changing your circumstances.

Free: If you're serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.

What do I mean by "SERIOUS"?

We take YOU and your struggles seriously...because we've been there
We know a lack of intimacy in your marriage is serious
And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 6 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

$497 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Please know you are always in control of your subscription to this newsletter and the use of your email address. You signed yourself up and you can “unsign” yourself anytime you please by clicking the “Unsubscribe” link at the bottom of this email. I will always respect your privacy and personal data. You may email me directly if you ever have any questions or concerns about the use of your personal information.

Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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