The story below gives a new perspective on relationship drama.
Jason & Jenny’s Toxic Cycle
Jason tosses and turns in bed.
The clock glares 10:47 into the dark room.
His thoughts won’t stop racing.
Where’s his wife, Jenny?
He checks his phone for the 20th time.
Still no reply.
Four messages already sent.
He shoots off a fifth: “Where are you??”
The uncertainty gnaws at him.
Jenny had left earlier with her sister.
Jason tried to talk her out of it.
“I don’t like it when you hang out with your sister, she always talks
shit about me” he told her.
“Ugh, I need a break from the house. Why do you make everything about you?” Jenny shot back.
“I’m not! It’s just that since her divorce she's really negative about men. I don't think she's a good influence on our marriage!”
Jenny rolled her eyes. “You’re being ridiculous.”
Now it’s almost 11:00.
The front door opens.
Jason’s anxiety lifts for a moment until she walks right past him.
“Why didn’t you answer my texts?” he blurts.
“The place was loud. I never heard my phone,” Jenny says, dropping her keys on the nightstand. “Besides, I told you we’d be out late. Why aren’t you sleeping?”
Jason’s jaw tightens, “The least you could do is show me some respect and text me back!”
Jenny heads for the bathroom. “I can’t deal with this right now.”
Moments later, Jason is left
alone, fuming.
Another weekend, another blow-up.
The Tango Takes Two
Every blow-up requires two people.
Both have to play one of three roles (victim, rescuer, or persecutor) to
fuel the conflict.
That cycle is called the drama triangle.
For a man’s hyper-logical mind, the problem looks obvious: “She’s not following my wisdom.”
So he explains, justifies, and rationalizes.
And when she doesn’t follow his lead, he feels disrespected and unheard.
But how he handles those feelings is the deeper issue.
When he lets his reactions run the show, he fuels the drama triangle by playing
the victim.
A victim says things like, “I’m not!" or..." It’s just that.”
If his jaw tightens, he’s leading WW3.
Women are a mirror.
If you listen, she will listen.
If you fight, she will fight.
Women respond to the tone and vibe you bring, not your logical arguments.
This might sound new, but what you think are problems in your relationship are actually opportunities to show emotional leadership.
What You’re Doing
Now Isn’t Working...
Until a man can admit that what he's doing isn't working, I can't help him.
How many years will you keep doing the same things, only to feel frustrated by the same results?
Another heated discussion with your wife won’t change anything.
Laying down “rules of the house” won’t change her habits.
Snooping through her journal or checking her
phone?
That’s not the path back to trust or romance.
It’s time for something completely new.
It’s time to become the man who isn’t rattled.
The man who grins and laughs...A lot!
This kind of man is chill even in the face of conflict.
You have a truckload of love, adventure, and laughter to bring into this world.
Before your marriage can change, you need to get back in touch with that great man inside of you.
The good news is you don’t have to wait for your wife to give you a sense of well-being.
You can tap into it right now.
I promise this inner work will be unlike anything else you’ve ever tried in personal growth.
We're looking for 8 men who are serious about making huge strides in their masculine development.
Once you're on the list, we’ll send you a 10% early-bird coupon
code.
Registration opens for 24 HOURS ONLY on October 4th!
Course sessions will run at 5:00 PM Pacific
on:
- October 11th
- October 25th
- November 8th
- November 27th
Bonus Segment: "How To Handle Conflict Between Your Wife And Parents"
