First, I want
to invite you to our next group coaching call, tomorrow, Thursday 15th January at 12pm mountain time.
The topic for this call is: Do You Feel Like You're "Wasting Your
Time"?
Men are efficient creatures. We hate wasted motion, wasted work and wasted emotional energy! We are keenly aware that life is short and time is limited.
Let's talk about where you're wondering about "wasting time" in your life?
Are you wasting time in your relationship? What if it's too far gone?
Are you wasting time hating a job that's crushing your spirit?
What about wasting time with people who drain you with negativity or criticism?
Do you waste time thinking about doing things...and never doing them?
What are you NOT doing that wouldn't be a waste of time?
What is ONE new area in your life that really, really needs your attention?
This is going to be a great conversation! If you're looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you'll
love this Roundtable session!
My sweetheart was telling me about a friend of hers who recently broke up with her long-time partner.
The bottom line reason was around the question about feeling "needed" vs. feeling
"wanted".
Which one would you rather feel from your partner?
Personally, I like being "needed", but only in the sense of being appreciated for my unique masculine qualities. For example, I love it when she
"needs" a big, strong hug. I'm happy when she "needs" me to check out a bump in the night or a squeaky wheel on her truck. And, of course, I love being "needed" in the bedroom.
But I don't need to be needed. And, I don't want to feel a desperate, insecure, neediness from any woman or man in my life.
In both romance and friendship, I want the foundation to be one of desire...or "wanting" to be together. This "wanting" is a secure and unapologetic attraction to each other and thoroughly enjoying being together. This "interdependence" is a healthy form of relationship based on mutual desire, respect and trust. Both people are emotionally
secure.
Some people are so invested in being "independent" that they live in fear of connection, fear of vulnerability and fear of intimacy. They're no fun to be around. They are mostly self-absorbed and detached, although, some of them make good drinkin' buddies!
And some people are so
"co-dependent" that they are joined at the hip with no separate interests...no other friendships...and no other mission in life. It's the "I don't know where I end and you begin!" relationship. This is the energy of "neediness" I talked about above.
Co-dependent relationships normally click along just fine
since both people are getting their insecure needs met. These relationships are also marked with bouts of arguing, begging, pleading and blaming as each partner struggles to get the other one to meet their "needs".
In the video below I discuss what I believe makes a "healthy" relationship without being an independent asshole
or a needy, desperate man.
