How to Move From Miserable to Happy in Your Marriage

Published: Wed, 11/05/25

Updated: Wed, 11/05/25

Hey brother,

First, I want to invite you to our next group coaching call this Thursday 6th November at 12pm mountain time.

The topic of the call is:

How to Stay Grounded When "Giving Her Space"

What does it look like to be an "emotionally secure" man?
(watch this video to prime yourself to discuss this point: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1ALwcGEi9v/)

What does "leaning in" look like if your supposed to "give space"?

How to have conversations about "unspoken expectations" without making "silent demands"?

How to make it safe for her to tell you "can't read her mind"

How to show her where you stand emotionally with her

What does it mean to "have a roadmap" for your relationship...without being controlling?

This is going to be a great conversation! If you're looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you'll love this Roundtable session!

If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching Community here.
(You'll also gain access to 6 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).

Now onto today's newsletter...

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Have you ever met a guy who seems almost annoyingly happy all the time?

He seems genuinely content from day to day, never complains about much...especially his relationship.

When you talk with him he's consistently present, connected and encouraging toward you.

He's annoyingly upbeat and positive and his wife seems to look at him with an adoring and amused expression.

They may tease each other, but never unkindly or disrespectfully.

That bastard! How's he do it?

If you're reading this email, you're probably a lot like me. I spent many years wondering about guys like that.

While I was generally content with work and recreational stuff, I was often one of the unhappiest husbands in room.

What does "unhappy' mean?

For me it was this chronic and continual assessment of my relationship. I would compare myself to men I thought were "happier" than I was. I would compare HER to women I thought were better wives than she was.

I was constantly searching for a "happy marriage" based on what I could see on the OUTSIDE.

I did this while my INSIDES were gurgling with discontent, envy, anger, resentment and impatience. My thoughts were polluted with negative judgment and frequently critical or unkind regard.

More often than not, that nasty energy would leak out of my brain and out of my mouth.

I had no freaking clue what was happening or how to change it.

I wanted to be one of those happy bastards so bad I've ended up doing this work for 12 yrs. now.

This video is about the epiphany that changed me...my way of thinking and ultimately, my consistent experience of "happiness".

I finally learned the sly secret those "happy husbands" were hiding.

The 3 Baseline Habits of a Happy Human...and Husband

As I said in the video, these 3 things seem stupidly simple but, for some reason, can take a lifetime to learn.

It's not just an academic understanding you need to develop these habits.

A serious transformation of your own self-esteem, your daily perspective and your thinking habits is not something you get from a video or newsletter.

Here are the 3 baseline habits:

1. Begin to think of yourself with much higher regard; a man who knows he is worthy and valuable and, by default, can embody happiness in ANY situation. Your transformation is the realization that happiness is not accessible anywhere outside of your own mind or body.

2. Be kind. So simple, but so powerful. This requires you to see yourself as a bottomless pit of contentment. A man who is not threatened by drama, chaos or external circumstances. Your transformation is the realization that kindness is the most powerful gift you can give on a daily basis.

3. Hold her in high regard. This is the habit of giving people benefit of the doubt and assuming the best instead of the worst. This habits preempts that snarky, suspicious, judgmental, defensive, and butt-hurt energy we can ooze through our pores. Your transformation is the realization that when you change the way you look at her...she will actually change in front of your eyes.

Knowing WHAT to do is clear enough. What about the HOW?

That's a good question. While some people do pretty well taking the DIY route, most of us need more help.

In my case, transforming my perspective and thinking habits is still a work in progress. One reason I love coaching is because it's a process of continuous growth and learning. Every man who joins our community brings a new story, new challenges and new wisdom.

That's why I invite you to join the Goodguys2Greatmen community and consider taking a serious, deep dive into this work.

Nothing will accelerate your growth and spark your confidence more than talking with other men on the same path.

Here are four ways to get started today:

$149 One-Time Payment: The Goodguy2Greatmen 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage - if you need an instant change in your life and relationship Dan and I created our most powerful short course to help you start feeling more calm and confident and to know what actions to take to start changing your circumstances.

Free Call: If you're serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.

What do I mean by "SERIOUS"?

You will finally be listened to and taken seriously
You will get at least ONE serious insight or realization that clears your thinking
You will get at least ONE clear thing to do differently immediately after the call
You will feel at least 50% better and more confident in 60 minutes than you've felt for the last 60 days.
You will feel courage to take the next steps forward to keep your positive momentum

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

$497 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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