How To Cope When Your Marriage Is Spiralling Out Of Control

Published: Wed, 06/11/25

Updated: Wed, 06/11/25

Hey brother,

First, I want to invite you to our next group coaching call on Thursday 12th June at 12pm mountain time.

Let's talk about how to be The Keeper of the Spark

This meeting is about developing a consistent, confident energy of lightness, enthusiasm, positivity and fun! (first for yourself...then others)

What IS the SPARK all about...just being goofy? (nope)

Why a man with a "spark" in his eye is so damn attractive

How our inner fears and insecurity douse the spark every day

Why Outcome Independence is necessary to keep the "spark" alive

What if she (or others) don't care one bit about your "spark"?

This is going to be a great conversation! If you're looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you'll love this Roundtable session!

If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men's Roundtable here.
(You'll also gain access to 6 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).

Now onto today's newsletter...

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We speak with so many men each week who want to have HOPE. I remember having this kind of hope once too.

We want to have hope that our marriage won't end.

We want to have hope that our family won't break up and we won't miss seeing our kids every single day.

And we want to have hope that our wife will turn back toward us and love us they way we imagine she could.

But that kind of hope is paralyzing and debilitating.

That kind of hope is attached to ONLY ONE version of life....ONLY ONE OUTCOME that could save us from personal destruction.

That kind of hope is based on a poisonous attachment to the whims of others and is dependent on all circumstances bending to your will...and to your FEARS.

Hope doesn't work like that. There's a better way to hope.

It's how a strong, confident, secure man chooses to hope.

The kind of hope I wish for you is a WISE hope. This kind of hope is a belief system.

It's a place of calm, confident faith that everything happening now has a hidden benefit that is yours to find.

And when we see that benefit and live into it, everything somehow works out in a way that makes sense...and we find peace in that.

Despite the darkness of the apparent reality staring you in the face at this moment, there is a purpose behind this shit show.

Standing strong in the face of circumstances you can't change with the absolute BELIEF that, one way or another, this will all turn out just as it should...is a very healthy kind of hope.

It's a powerful inner voice that says, "Hey dude. You're okay. And you're gonna be okay. Breathe, brother. Really!"

I talk more about this choice of mindset in the video below.

How To Cope When Your Marriage Is Spiralling Out Of Control

You might be thinking, "Yada yada yada. More new age BS that isn't helping my situation at all."

I know. Too much bloviating about "the universe" can make me throw up in my mouth a little too.

A very simple and blunt way of saying the same thing is this way:

"Life is tough. And it's a lot tougher if you're stupid."

~ John Wayne

My coaching is always kind. Always respectful. And always empathetic.

But a little tough love can be really helpful sometimes.

I remember too well the time when my guts were spilling on the floor and I was slipping in my own blood of despair.

I remember the panic and the "Mr. Fixer" desperation I applied to my failing marriage.

And I remember when a 2x4 hit me in the friggin' head and showed me the truth.

The truth was that no matter what I felt and no matter what I HOPED for I actually had NO CONTROL over the outcome. There was only ONE path to take.

I had to RESPOND better to my circumstances. I had to quit fighting and beating my head into the wall.

It was the most COUNTER-INTUITIVE decision I ever made, but the "2x4 of Clarity" spelled it out.

I had to take care of myself and my thinking. I had to change the way my thoughts were tormenting me.

I had to find people smarter than me to keep me straight.

And so I did.

And it turns out everything turned out exactly the way it was supposed to.

And life turned out to be better than I ever imagined.

The GG2GM coaching programs are powerful and personally challenging.

They are intensely focused on YOU and YOUR THINKING.

There are not for everyone. But they are perfect for the man willing to try something different...something strangely counter-intuitive.

If you're ready for a powerful and intensely personal conversation about where you want to go, we're ready. Get a comfy chair and a cup of coffee. This conversation is NOT a "taster session".

Fill out our contact form for a free, no strings, 60 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you slow down and identify what is really important for you.

Or try one of our other options to get the support you need at this time:

$149 One-Time Payment: The Goodguy2Greatmen 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage - if you need an instant change in your life and relationship Dan and I created our most powerful short course to help you start feeling more calm and confident and to know what actions to take to start changing your circumstances.

Free: If you're serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.

What do I mean by "SERIOUS"?

We take YOU and your struggles seriously...because we've been there
We know feeling like your life is hopelessly out of control is serious
And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 6 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

$497 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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