Have you ever had your mom and wife upset with you at the same time? When that happens, it feels like no matter what you do, you’re letting someone down. As boys, many of us develop a possessive wound complex when our mother depends on us to feel needed and
loved. That bond feels like love, but it creates confusion, guilt, and emotional entanglement that follows us into marriage. Here’s a story to help you see how that wound forms and what to do about it.
How Liam’s "Mother Wound" Formed
Liam is twelve.
He gets quiet and his cheeks flush when Ava, the girl in his math class, sits next to him.
He’s not sure what to say, but he likes how he feels when she looks his way.
One afternoon, he tells his mom a little about Ava.
That she’s smart. That she smells like strawberries.
He grins without realizing it.
His mom looks up from the sink.
Liam freezes.
“You shouldn’t be thinking about girls like this,” she says.
Her tone makes him
question if his feelings for Ava are somehow wrong.
That night, Liam's mom is quiet at dinner.
When he helps her with the dishes, she doesn’t joke like usual.
When he hugs her goodnight, she holds on a little too long.
She tells him, “Don’t grow up too fast, loving your mom is all you need to worry about right now."
How
Liam’s "Mother Wound" Affects His Relationships
Over time, Liam learns to hide his interest in girls.
He doesn’t talk about who he likes.
He downplays how he feels, even to himself.
Because every time he feels a spark of connection with a woman, another part of him whispers: “You’re hurting someone else...You’re disappointing the one who really
loves you.”
So as a man, Liam keeps choosing women who need him more than they respect him.
Who smother instead of support.
Who feels familiar… like home. Like guilt. Like mom.
He struggles to lead.
Struggles to fully claim what he wants.
His love feels tied to loyalty, not liberation.
That’s the Possessive Mother Wound Complex.
It makes a man feel guilty for becoming himself.
And your wife?
She can’t deeply respect you if you don’t own who you are.
How To Be OK Even With Your Mom and Wife Upset
Detaching from the possessive mother complex means learning to be comfortable with rejection.
To take action for yourself, without guilt.
How?
You have to rewire your brain.
Right now, old beliefs are running the show.
They shape how you experience your mom... and your wife.
It’s time for new beliefs.
New perspectives.
A new script.
That's why Mark Drezga and I created the Vital Formula to Masculine Confidence Course.
It's a no B.S. method to help you gain deep inner security and
clarity.
When you have your own clear masculine script, you stop living by your mom’s.
Many men have used this framework to turn their marriage around.
Not by fixing their wife, but by becoming the grounded, confident leader the marriage desperately needs.
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Gaining calm, clear, decisive behaviors are mandatory for a committed relationship to
work.
That’s why this round of the course includes the SPECIAL segment about facing uncertainty with clarity.
