A mother wound can live deep in our subconscious, shaping how we see ourselves and quietly convincing us we’re unvalued or unappreciated by our wife’s behavior. Back in 2017, I learned something that forever changed how I interact with women. Here’s a story to
help you understand what I discovered.
How Gabe Formed A Mother Wound
Gabe is 10 years old.
He’s in the bathroom, combing his hair.
With water on his comb, he slicks it straight back.
He feels
cool.
Confident.
Like the kind of guy girls would blush over.
He walks out of the bathroom with his head high and joins his family at the breakfast table.
His mom looks up.
“Whoa! We are not 'cool dudes'. No boy of
mine is going to comb his hair back like that.”
Gabe’s chest tightens.
His confidence crumbles.
He drags his hand across his head, pushing his hair back down.
He feels small.
Insignificant.
His mom softens and puts a hand on his shoulder.
“That’s better”, she says.
A little relief washes over him.
Her love, which had vanished for a moment, returns...but only once he shrinks back down.
How A Mother Wound Affects Your Marriage
Gabe is 35
now. Married. Two kids.
He spends his entire weekend building a bench in the backyard...measuring, cutting, sanding, and putting care into every detail.
He’s not just building furniture, he’s
building a moment.
He imagines sitting with his wife, Heather, later that night.
Reading together. Talking.
Just being close again.
It would mean a lot to him.
When he walks into the house to invite her outside, he sees her grabbing
her keys.
“Where are you going?” Gabe asks.
“To visit my sister,” Heather says, without looking up.
Disappointment hits him like a wave.
He gets quiet.
Heather notices and rolls her
eyes.
She's not sure why Gabe's mood just changed.
He stands there quietly, the image of the moment he wanted still hanging in his mind.
He never said what he needed.
He just hoped she’d choose to stay.
Heather knows something is off, and it
gets under her skin.
"I'm leaving now, bye," She says coldly.
Gabe goes back outside, feeling deflated and worthless.
Why didn’t he speak up sooner?
Why didn't he tell Heather about his amazing plans for tonight so she could plan for it?
He knows why...
She might call him controlling.
She could belittle his idea.
These fears keep Gabe from stepping up and saying what he wants.
What I Realized in 2017 That Changed Everything
Here's what I understand now:
The way I experience my wife has less to do with who she is and more to do with the wounds I carry.
If a boy isn’t
supported when he begins to stand taller, speak with confidence, or take up space, he learns that being powerful threatens love.
That forms what I call a Controlling Mother Wound Complex.
As a man, he’ll subconsciously seek out women who are uncomfortable with his freedom, leadership, or full self-expression.
He won't enjoy this about
her.
He'll complain about it.
He'll blame her.
But at the end of the day, his brain prefers the comfort of familiarity over uncertainty.
We are experiencing our mother through our partner.
It's how we learned to
attach ourselves to feminine, to remain part of her family.
We think this is normal for a relationship but it's a toxic form of attachment.
What To Do About Your Mother Wound
Our mother was a young girl who suddenly became a mom and was still growing up herself.
As an infant and toddler, we saw her as a goddess.
But she was only trying to figure out life like the rest of us.
Blaming her for our wounds or hating women for screwing us up is a "victim mentality".
We need to rewire our brains if we don't like how our wounds sabotage our relationships.
This course gives you the internal confidence and clarity to no longer allow your
wounds to ruin your relationships.
The course is not meant to push you to the gym or change how you comb your hair.
It addresses the INTERNAL patterns
that keep sabotaging intimacy and connection in your life.
When YOU do a full 180, your marriage can too.
Once you're on the list, we’ll send you a 10% early-bird coupon code.
Registration opens for
24 HOURS ONLY on July 12th!
📅 Course sessions will run at 5:00 PM Pacific on:
✔️ July
19th
✔️ Aug 2nd
✔️ Aug 16th
✔️ Aug
30th
💥 Bonus Segment: “How to face uncertainty with clarity and decisiveness”.
I know it’s summer.
It's easy to put something like this off.
But men always say, “Why didn’t I do this sooner??” once they
join.
Your marriage won’t improve because you’ve planned a great family vacation.
Doing more around the house won’t help either.
Be a man with no regrets this summer!
Gaining calm, clear, decisive behaviors are mandatory for a committed relationship to work.
That’s why this round of the course includes the SPECIAL segment about facing uncertainty with clarity.
