Pouring gas on the fire of shame
When it comes to name-calling, we know exactly where to poke the most sensitive nerves in each other.
You may be confused by your woman. You may think she's being irrational. You may think she is living in the past.
But calling her "crazy" is like pouring salt on a gaping wound of shame.
As Brene Brown's research has shown, many women have decades of conditioning around the "not good enough" shame
trigger. And the one person she hoped wouldn't poke that trigger is you.
It's easy for us guys to empathize with this if we're willing to stop taking things personally for a minute.
Think about a time when you've been feeling upset, aggravated, inadequate, clumsy, clingy, unappreciated and/or unloved.
And then someone says, Just stop being a pussy!
Oh yes they did!
I know! It trips a shame trigger that feels like a dagger in the gut. It rubs salt in the male shame wound of "being
weak".
Now you know how she feels. It's called empathy.
It's the secret sauce and fail safe solution to the toxic habit of name calling and shame triggering.
And when you get clear, strong and confident in your own masculine frame, you can employ empathy in ways that will change the entire tone of your relationship.
What if?...
She's not crazy. She's afraid.
She's not
crazy. She's angry.
She's not crazy. She's feeling disconnected and dismissed.
What if if you had another pair of glasses to see the truth?
What if you learned to be more aware and more skillful in how you respond?
What if you knew exactly what she needed to trust you enough to move closer?
Somebody needs to lead the way here, brother. And that's you.
This short lesson on
the "crazy trigger" is one of dozens of things we teach you when you join the Goodguys2Greatmen coaching and community of men.
We want to help you make powerful changes in yourself and improve your relationship faster in a few weeks than you ever thought possible.
If you're ready to stop waiting
for things to get better and to start taking action on what you can control, here are some ways we can help you start changing things today...