What Kind Of Man Are You When Nobody Is Watching? (& Why It's Important To Know)

Published: Fri, 01/03/25

Updated: Fri, 01/03/25

Hey brother,

“The more you love yourself, the less nonsense you'll tolerate.” ~ Earnest Hemingway, possibly

This quote caught my eye because it speaks to a deeper level of self-awareness I think every man needs.

Do you actually LIKE yourself when nobody is watching?

One of the biggest reasons men THINK they are experiencing negativity, sadness or rejection is because they secretly think they need someone to LIKE them.

And when we need someone else to like us it usually means we're feeling empty inside.

The emptiness feeling comes from insecure thoughts of abandonment, inadequacy and "undesireability". We're seeking external acknowledgement and validation to change those thoughts which will change the feelings.

Is it wrong to WANT a loving, caring, kind and supportive partnership?

Heck no. I think we ALL want that.

But if we want that because we're empty inside, we will never, ever get enough external soothing.

And that's a problem.

Nobody wants to be responsible for continually filling up our insatiable need for being liked.

I'm in the business of helping men to deeply appreciate, respect and LIKE themselves...without being jerks or assholes.

I've learned it's these guys who end up attracting all the attention, kindness and support they want.

As Robert Holden said in his book, Happiness Now, You enjoy as much happiness as you believe you're worthy of.

Psychologists may refer to this liking yourself stuff as self-acceptance. That topic goes pretty deep. But for today, let's just talk about having a few hours this weekend of simply digging yourself.

When was the last time you were alone laughing and dancing with nobody but you? Do you dig yourself enough to enjoy your own company?

Watch this video to see how I did it this morning.

Yeah, I'm actually going to video me dancing which goes totally against my instincts!

What Kind Of Man Are You When Nobody Is Watching? (& Why It's Important To Know)

Well, THAT was an interesting experiment.

How can I tell you to push your comfort zone if I don't do it myself?

If you liked it, great. If you didn't, that's okay too.

Sometimes I don't like watching people dance badly because it makes me "embarrassed for them". I've learned that's a load of crap. The reason I'm uncomfortable is because I'm seeing myself through them.

And behind my judgment is a bit of envy that I could be as comfortable as they are just being themselves.

So, here's my challenge. Find a song this week that makes you tap your toes, move your body, sing out loud or just smile.

Do this all alone and just dig yourself and the feeling of getting into light thoughts and warm feelings.

Why?

Because light thoughts and warm feelings are your home base.

This is your NORMAL state of being. With every negative, sad, or lonely thought that enters your head you are just one song (and one thought) away from your home base.

If I could sum up what the GG2GM mission is with a simple metaphor, it would be:

We teach men how to dance in the warmth of their own value and their own happiness.

Yeah, we know you came through the door of relationship pain. It's the same door we all came through.

I'm glad you're here!

And if you're ready to start your "dance lessons", think about getting more seriously involved in this powerful community of men. I promise you will be astounded at how fast you learn the steps.

Free: If you're serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.

What do I mean by "SERIOUS"?

We take YOU and your struggles seriously...because we've been there
We know feeling stuck, frustrated and unmotivated is serious
And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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