There's a HUGE difference between telling your wife what you
expect from her and what you want for your relationship.
One way creates distance and resistance. The other creates possibility and forward momentum.
When we're upset and disappointed with our marriage, we tend to adopt an angry, indignant and controlling attitude. We talk about our "unmet needs and expectations" in a way that feels blaming and controlling. It's constant PRESSURE.
And the more you use this
tactic the further she moves away from you and from the relationship.
What if you only talked about what you really want instead of what you don't want?
Clients ask me, "What does that even mean? What would that sound like?"
When I suggest something like this...
"I want for us to feel more safe, more trusting, more respectful toward each other. I want us feel in love again. And I want us both to try harder to PRACTICE love with each other. We really can do so much better. We can be kinder. We really deserve so much better. Want a cup of coffee?"
...clients will say, "Dude...I can't imagine saying that. I've never talked like that. I have no idea how she might respond, but I'm not sure it would be good."
Exactly. Most guys never say the stuff that is actually the most honest, open-hearted
thing they could say.
It's too late to be afraid. It's time start speaking the truth without fear and without concern about her reaction.
Why?
Because you will never create something you want if you don't learn how to clearly, directly and unapologetically describe it and ask for it!
I don't recommend starting a two-hour conversation about it. But you must start. Start small. Be consistent. Be calm. Be confident.
*****
We help you to develop the courage and the clarity in your mind to focus on the future you want.
We help you become inspired by what you want to create instead of staying in the limbo of what you don't
want.
We give you straight-forward, actionable coaching for improving your marriage by improving your knowledge, your awareness and your understanding.
We call it a deep, dark and funny approach to coaching you through the things nobody wants to talk about.
And we want to help you avoid the same
stupid thinking and the same stupid mistakes we made.
This purpose of this email is simply to tell you we are running the same 50% off Christmas discount on the best course you'll ever take on fixing yourself and then fixing your marriage.
We care about your heart, your worries and your mojo. So we made a personal video for you the other day to explain WHY this course and community is so powerful.
