Do you ever let your thoughts of your "future relationship" piss you
off in the present moment?
Do you ever project negative thoughts on your lady and then get grumpy and mean just thinking about negative stuff?
Do you fear things
not working out tomorrow so much that you've become an agitated asshole today?
That's what this woman I met had decided SHE was doing.
Here's the quick
story.
"Joanna" told me she had an amazing epiphany one morning.
She realized she was waking up nearly every day in a foul mood. She was
irritated, bitchy and whiny from the "get go". And it was all aimed right at her husband, "Mark".
She told me, "I realized today that this was a CHOICE! I'm allowing my frustrations to create all these images and movies of my future with Mark that make me sad and angry. So I lash out at him for the most stupid
shit in the world. Not that he doesn't deserve it sometimes...but he doesn't deserve it everyday. And if I wasn't waking up grumpy, he just may not do those things that piss me off."
Joanna went on to say, "I decided that I'm responsible for MY mood and how I treat him. I wondered what would happen if I
just decided to take ONE DAY AT A TIME. What if I just decided that today I would LOVE him - be loving - be kind and appreciate him?? How hard could that be just doing one day at a time?"
"So what did you do?" I asked.
"I woke up today and decided to be thankful for the day. I smiled at him and initiated a hug, looked him in the eye and said, I've decided I love you today. And tomorrow is looking pretty good too. "
"Hmmm....then what?" I asked again.
"He got pissed!! He wanted to know if I was threatening him. He didn't trust me. He said he felt like I was putting him on trial!"
"Jeez."
"I know!" she said. "But I explained more to him that I decided I was part of our problem. That I was choosing to see him in a negative light every morning and it was making me grumpy and bitchy. I told him he didn't deserve it and I
wanted to try harder. I wanted him to know that I can CHOOSE to love him and be loving on any given day. And that saying 'tomorrow looks pretty good too' was just my way of saying that intend to keep this up."
"Cool. What did he say?"
"He kind of grunted and said he got it. He said 'Thanks' and hugged me back."
"So, what next?"
She said, "I've decided there is no 'next'. I have no control over 'next' or tomorrow. I must stay in TODAY and make my choices in the moment...and stop getting pissed about my thoughts of the future. I can change my thoughts about how I'm going to think today."
"I have no control over what happens tomorrow and by worrying about it I'M SCREWING UP MY PRESENT!"
So that's my story.
What's it mean for you?
Here's a video where I'll give you my thoughts.