How To Have A Life That Inspires And Motivates You

Published: Wed, 12/11/24

Updated: Sun, 12/15/24

Hey brother,

First, I want to invite you to our group coaching call this Thursday, 12th December at 12pm mountain time, the topic of the call is "How to Deal With Your AVOIDANT Partner".

In this call we will address the frustration, confusion and sadness of being with someone who finds it uncomfortable being with you.

What's this "attachment style" stuff all about
What's YOUR style?
What do you want...what does she want...and what's a healthy relationship look like?
What can you do to help?
What are you willing to accept?
What if you decide you want more than she's able to give?

To prepare for the meeting, read and watch the info in this article. This lady, Brianna MacWilliam, has given a LOT of time to this topic.
How to Deal with an Avoidant Partner (A Guide)

I also wrote an article about it for the Gottman Marriage Institute back in 2017.

How to Avoid the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern in Your Relationship

We're going to have a great conversation that's guaranteed to help you feel more clear and more connected to the man you want to be.

If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men's Roundtable here.
(You'll also gain access to 5 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).

Now onto today's newsletter...

***

An everyday conversation with a wishy-washy person.

You: Hey man, I have 3 tickets for the playoff game this Saturday at 1pm. I want you to take the 3rd ticket and come with Bill and I. I'm driving and can pick you up at 11am. It's going to be a blast. Do you want to join us?

Wishy-Washy Friend: "Umm...yeah...that sounds pretty good...I think...umm thanks...I mean...that should probably work...I guess...lemme see...umm...yeah."

What's my point here?

Don't be that guy. Nobody likes that guy. Nobody.

I'm not talking about being uncertain when someone asks, Do you know the surface temperature of the sun?

If you don't know something then saying NO is the perfect answer.

This email about the uncertain, indecisive, tentative, noncommittal, action averse energy of a wishy-washy man.

Why does it matter?

Two reasons.

1. It is holding you back. Being wishy-washy has a poisonous effect on your mind and your sense of personal power. It's based in fear and insecurity which will ruin you life and your relationships. It's a voluntary choice to become a 2nd Class citizen in your own life. And that will cause you to constantly feel like you're on your heels without a compass, walking on eggshells and moving in slow motion. And that's bad for you.

2. It negatively affects all of your relationships. All of them. Others will feel they can't count on you. They will feel like they are left hanging. They will get frustrated with always taking the lead and watching you back away from commitment. They will question what value you bring into their lives. And as if we need more motivation, wishy-washiness is one of the biggest sexual turn-offs in the world. So...there's that.

Tragically, many people have this faithless, wishy-washy mindset, which causes them to lose the battle in their minds before they ever fight it in the world.

~ Craig Groeschel

I have no idea who Craig Groeschel is. I just like the quote.

There are dozens of books, courses, coaches and teachers out there saying the same crap.

I want to say it differently for you in this email. I want you to hear it in a way that might actually cause a shift in your THINKING and, therefore, how you FEEL about being wishy-washy. Only then will you actually DO something different...maybe as early as this weekend.

And when you do...it will feel amazing.

First, watch this video where I get more specific.

But before I go...these are the thoughts in my head as I type this:

I'm a little nervous. Will I say what I want? Will it make any sense? Will you think I'm an idiot just like all the others who say this crap?

I need to muster my own commitment right now instead of just phoning in this newsletter and giving you a link to someone's article who is smarter than I am.

In other words, I have to make a commitment right now and follow through. I'm a "hell yes" to do this for you and for me. Here I go. (Sigh)

How To Have A Life That Inspires And Motivates You

Hell YES vs. Hell NO

Well, I'm back from the video shoot and I think I said what I wanted to say.

BOTTOM LINE:

If you want to feel better about yourself...more confident...more engaged...more empowered and more attractive in your OWN eyes then you must start finding your Hell YES's more quickly.

*****

Stay out of the HELL MAYBE zone. Nothing good happens there. Become more aware of your energy and your thoughts when making a decision or considering a question. Find that part of you that has a clear, non-negotiable opinion or desire. Follow your gut and go for it!

You must also identify your Hell NO's more quickly. It takes courage to look someone in the eye and say, No, thank you. I spent a large part of my life saying, Umm...you know, I'm not sure I (blah, blah) only to find myself getting talked into things I DIDN'T WANT TO DO!

My challenge to you this week is COACH YOURSELF every time you're faced with a decision.

Are you going to be a "Hell YES" and go all in?

Or are you going to declare yourself a "Hell NO".

I think you'll be amazed at how liberating it feels when you make your first declarations...even it's for just making your bed or declining a dinner invitation!

I've found that the very FASTEST way to change the way you're thinking and finding your HELL YES's and HELL NO's in life is to join other men doing the same thing. I could have never made the changes I've made starting at age 50 without the incredible love and support of other men.

Here are some options for you to join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:

Free: If you're serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.

What do I mean by "SERIOUS"?

We take YOU and your struggles seriously...because we've been there
We know living a life that doesn't inspire you is serious
And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

************

Please know you are always in control of your subscription to this newsletter and the use of your email address. You signed yourself up and you can “unsign” yourself anytime you please by clicking the “Unsubscribe” link at the bottom of this email. I will always respect your privacy and personal data. You may email me directly if you ever have any questions or concerns about the use of your personal information.

Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

Unsubscribe | Change Subscriber Options