"In every moment you have the CHOICE to be a victim or a creator." ~ Deepak Chopra
Let me be clear.
I am speaking directly to healthy adult men who want to become more emotionally confident, mature and effective in their life by changing how they think and respond to their circumstances. These men have a clear choice to create new circumstances for themselves.
I fully realize there are many innocent victims of
circumstances and abuse who have no such option and we must support and defend them.
What's really
happening when someone treats you badly?
This is what happens when a man finally becomes clear, confident and secure enough to see the truth about "abuse".
Instead of seeing criticism and cutting comments as abuse...he sees them as
insecure bids for connection.
Instead of experiencing her cold silence as emotional abandonment...he experiences empathy for her internal turmoil.
Instead of feeling threats of divorce as vicious emotional abuse...he sees right through her fearful need to take control.
This is what happens when a man finally becomes clear, confident and secure enough to see himself as a creator
of his own circumstances.
Instead of launching boyish counter-attacks, he consistently demonstrates calm, confident and mature responses.
Instead of pursuing and pressuring her for approval and validation, he confidently gives her space while happily engaging with others.
Instead of accepting poisonous attacks or destructive behavior, he firmly and confidently states his expectations and invokes consequences without fear of the outcome.
How does he achieve this Zen-like state of masculine
maturity?
He stops trying to change others and puts laser focus on changing himself. This is all the control he has and all the control he needs.
You have a few options on where to put your focus.
