Toxic masculinity...toxic masculinity...toxic masculinity!
Did you get that queasy knot in your stomach yet?
Is the hair on the back of you neck tingling just a bit?
Most good men have a physical reaction to the phrase...at least a wince of discomfort when they hear it.
And then what do they do?
Some of them waste another few hours of
their day lurking around the internet getting themselves all spun up with anger and defensiveness. They will engage in emotionally charged arguments with other men and women trying say something brilliant or change someone's mind.
The problem with this approach is that it's entirely INEFFECTIVE.
Most of the discourse on the topic is infused with dramatic outrage, fear, blaming and
shaming tactics.
And the result is a mass of people who are more agitated, more angry, more distrustful and more defensive than ever.
This creates more division and more contempt.
In other words...it's totally ineffective and has ZERO chance of making any real change in the short term or long term.
And the worst part?
It's totally ineffective for the man who wants to dramatically improve his life, his marriage, his parenting and his legacy.
I believe the most effective way to create a healthier social dynamic is to create healthier INDIVIDUALS.
If we want trusting, respectful and safe relationships between men and women we must create stronger men AND women of integrity, empathy and emotional maturity.
This is where you come in.
You have a specific sphere of control and influence in your life. And that's not embroiled in wasteful arguments and finger-pointing with those outside your direct influence.
Ignore them and stop wasting time. You must focus within the boundaries of
your own life experience.
This is why I'm always preaching to men, "Stay in your lane!".
The KEY here is to actually know where your lane is and what it means for you to stay in it.
How about the lane of "Safe, Natural and Effective Masculinity"?
This is the opposite of "toxic masculinity".
In this video I explain what this
means.
