Here's the cold hard truth about Limbo Land.
You think it's a place of chronic
indecision and uncertainty seemingly created 100% by her. And you feel like you're the powerless victim.
The truth is that the feelings of being stuck in limbo are created inside your own head.
It's your belief that your sense of hope, well-being, happiness and long-term vitality is squarely in her hands.
But what if it's not? What if you had the power to think of this differently?
What if you created your own sense of certainty - independently from the outcome of this phase of your marriage?
And what would that even look
like?
Of course you could just hand her divorce papers and be done with it. That's one kind of certainty some men create. But I want to suggest another to start with.
*****
Brother, you've got about 30-40 years ahead of you to live a happy, connected, joyful, meaningful and loving life...surrounded by friends and family who love being with you.
Do you believe that life is crushed just because your wife is going a little nutty right now?
Do you believe you can't make any decision and do anything that serves you now until she gives you a sign that you're okay?
Hint: You don't need anyone's permission to start living the life you want.
What if right now...at this instant...you simply decided, "Hey, I'm going to live a happy, connected, joyful,
meaningful and loving life...surrounded by friends and family who love being with me."
That, my brother, is your secret key out of limbo land.
Yes, you must be outcome independent and detached from the result.
Yes, you must let go of you need to control and your need to know everything.
Yes, I know that sounds impossible to you right now. But I promise you this.
It's the quickest way to regain your self-respect and a modicum of mojo.
You'll start sleeping better and laughing more. You'll connect better with your kids and your friends and family. You'll be more effective at work.
Your wife may or may not notice. And who cares. That's not the point. (she'll notice,
though)
But now you're being the man YOU want to be and the one she just might be willing to talk to again.
Suddenly the "cold hard truth" doesn't seem so bad, does
it?
