Hey brother!
I want to talk to you today about something that every man
dreads.
Something that hurts more than anything else and can rip the confidence from you in a second.
For us men, there is nothing worse.
It's the pain of losing the trust of your woman.
If you have experienced this, then you can relate to how painful it is.
If you haven't, then the fear of it happening likely rattles you to your core.
Without trust, there can be no intimacy and no relationship beyond mere acquaintances.
Why do you think that soo many marriages end when there has been a breach of trust?
Without it, there is no sense of security.
With it, you both feel like you can take on the world.
Trust is the cornerstone of:
- Emotional Intimacy
- Communication
- Dependability and Reliability
- Conflict Resolution
- Mutual Respect and
Autonomy
- Long-Term Commitment
- Dealing with Anxiety and Insecurity
- Personal Growth
- Forgiveness and Healing
So when a man comes to us and wants the confidence to win his wife back or experience more joy in life, the topic of trust inevitably comes up.
The good news is, that as a man you are uniquely positioned to be more trustable.
The bad news is without one key ingredient it will never happen.
What's the key ingredient?
Consistency
Let's get a little philosophical and dig into WHY you as a man MUST actively
and consistently be trustable.
The masculine in you IS consistency. It is that which does not change.
In Taoist philosophy, the masculine (Yang) is associated with stability and the unchanging core, while the feminine (Yin) is dynamic and fluid.
Yang provides the steady foundation around which Yin moves.
Without the
masculine to provide structure and be reliable, the feminine has nothing to contain her and no structure to grow around.
What does consistency have to do with this you ask?
EVERYTHING.
Consistency creates the sense of security that the feminine is chasing in her world of constant change.
She wants to trust that you will remain unperturbed regardless of what she is going through and what is happening around you.
Imagine a fence with a vine growing on it.
Vines naturally grow towards light and as such tend to do some wild contortions in order to get to it.
The vine starts as a seed at the bottom of the fence and begins it's journey out of the ground and upwards.
As it gets taller and taller it finds that it cannot support itself and needs to lean on something.
It leans on the fence and continues pushing upwards.
As shadows are cast and the weather changes, the vine must change direction to keep following the light.
If there is a hole in the fence and that is where the light is, then that is where the vine will go.
If the light is behind the fence, then the vine will go there.
Standing back and looking at it from it from a distance, it can seem like chaos, with branches growing in every direction and twisting every which way.
But to the vine it is very straight forawrd.
"I don’t like the dark, and over there it's light, so I will change direction and go that way".
Your masculine is the fence. Her feminine is the vine.
She only knows that she must seek sunlight and when she reaches a point where there isn't
any, she shifts direction and continues chasing it.
From her perspective, she only sees what is directly in front of her. There is light or there isn't any.
She is the vine creating a beautiful pattern of chaos atop your structure.
To you, this seems crazy.
"Just keep growing
upwards!" You say. "Why are you going over there?"
Your masculine creates the ballast that her feminine needs support from.
You are the structure that remains constant and
unchanging.
Rain, hail or shine you are steadfast and resolute in your position.
Now imagine a fence that follows the direction of the vine.
THAT is what it is like when you allow her moods, feelings and emotions to determine YOUR actions!
There is nothing for
either of you to grab onto and rely upon.
Your consistency is what allows a woman to relax and be more feminine.
Your consistency is what allows her to trust
that you have her back, regardless of whether she can see the light or not.
It is the one thing that she can rely on to stay the same, even when everything inside and outside of her is changing.
If in one moment you are stoic and assertive and then in the next you capitulate to her moods and outburst, she cannot trust you or rely upon you.
Why?
Because she has no idea who you really are and which one of you she is going to get in any moment.
Are you the calm and collected man or the guy that crumbles under her scrutiny?
She cannot trust the man you are being if you keep changing depending on circumstance.
This makes her tense and causes her to doubt your leadership.
Consistency is very simple - it's just not always easy.
To be trustable and reliable you must connect to something inside you
that does not change.
We all know that our feelings are constantly changing, so they can't be relied upon.
We know
that our thinking changes moment to moment and we have no control over it, so it can't be relied upon either.
Can you rely on random circumstances?
Nope. Out of your control...
So, what's a man to do?
Our VALUES are the only thing that can remain static in a world that is constantly in flux.
Your values form the basis of who you are and how you behave.
They don't change according to what is happening outside of you and living in alignment with them is 100% within your control.
Being a man that lives from his values is the key to
fostering trust in relationship.
If your woman can rely on you to "be who you are" no matter what is happening, then she can relax knowing something around her isn't going to change.
Will she be happy all of the time?
Nope.
But she will come to respect and appreciate that she can rely on you to show up in consistent ways REGARDLESS of
what she is going through.
If she can control you and your moods then she cannot feel safe around you.
Your values are so fundamental to success in your relationships that Garrett and I spend the first part of our course, working to clarify exactly what yours are and how you can consistently live them.
They will become your instructions on what to do in all
circumstances, which means you will no longer follow your fleeting feelings or thinking to guide you.
Feeling angry and want to lash out?
Yeah, I know what that's like!
Luckily, you already decided how to respond. It's in your values, despite how you feel about things.
Don't want to give her affection because she's being moody?
Well, if your values say you are A MAN WHO GIVES HIS GIFTS OF AFFECTION AND ATTENTION UNCONDITIONALY, you're going to keep being you, regardless of what other people are doing or not doing.
*****
That's what a brotherhood is.
We want you to join ours.
Click HERE to pay and save your spot!
The cost is only two monthly payments of $424.
If you join the course now, you'll have these skills down by October.
October is coming either way, wouldn't it be great to have a permanent boost in your masculine confidence by that time?
We can't spoon-feed confidence to you, but you can show up to the course with a commitment to positive change as your first step to building your mojo.
Registration closes August 3rd and our first session will be
August 17th at 5:00 PM Pacific.
Mark Drezga & Garrett
Prettyman
Associate coaches at GG2GM
