How to Know if You Have "Irreconcilable Differences"? (or you're just pissed off)

Published: Sun, 09/15/24

Updated: Sun, 09/15/24

Hey brother,

Have you ever heard, thought or said things like this in your relationship?

That's it. I'm so done with this!
THAT is a deal breaker!
You're crossing my boundaries!
This is non-negotiable!
We're just TOO DIFFERENT to be able to live together
We've grown apart
We're totally incompatible!

Those are the types of things you hear in a marriage a few months (or years) before someone finds themselves with divorce forms in their hand...holding a blue ink pen. And then they check the "Reason for Divorce" box that says:

Irreconcilable Differences.

It's a fancy legal term that means, "I don't fucking know, but it's the one that feels about right."

Are there valid differences and valid reasons for divorce?

Of course, there are. But if I was a betting man, I'd bet the overwhelming emotions that precede choosing the "Irreconcilable Differences" are:

Anger
Resentment
Unhappiness
Exhaustion
Confusion
Fear

And those emotions are true for BOTH people...which means they have a whole lot more in common than they thought!

Declaring that your differences are irreconcilable...or deciding that you are totally incompatible from a place of deep, dark, negative emotions is like grocery shopping when you're hungry.

Don't trust yourself.

Slow down. Eat something. Make a list.

Yeah, I got divorced. And I can tell you precisely why I decided I didn't wish to be married any longer. But I did the work first.

I made sure I wasn't declaring "irreconcilable differences" from a list of all the things I DON'T WANT. I was working from a crystal clear list of what I DO WANT.

And without fear, anger or blame, I was able to make a calm, confident decision on my next steps.

I want this for you before you jump to any wrong conclusions.

I want you to have a chance to actually focus on creating what you DO WANT instead of throwing in the towel on what you DON'T WANT.

I want you to find "happy" now...instead of thinking it's somewhere else...only to find out you were wrong.

I want you to clearly understand what are truly "irreconcilable differences" and what is "garden variety fear, insecurity and immaturity".

Funny. There's no box for that on the divorce form. Nobody would admit that's really the reason they can't be happy.

Here's a quick video to give you a bit more insight on that.

How to Know if You Have "Irreconcilable Differences"? (or you're just pissed off)

Do you want to give yourself AND HER a chance of living with the best version of you?.

There is no shortcut. And there is no faking it.

The work we do with men totally rewires their thinking and their emotional strength to become clear, confident and happy in their life and relationship.

How about I offer you a menu of options you have to ask for help? I want to see you take charge.

And I want to see the lightbulb moment you have when this shit really starts to click with you.

Free: If you're serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.

What do I mean by "SERIOUS"?

We take YOU and your struggles seriously...because we've been there
We know dealing with a marriage without intimacy is serious...and so is knowing how to lead things to a better place
A lack of clarity about what to do next is serious now and for your long term future happiness
We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

Or...

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

At the Roundtable LIVE meeting this Thursday, September 19th, here's what we're talking about. Join up and join us and the coaches for a deep dive!

What If Your Relationship Problems Really Are IRRECONCILABLE??

What kinds of conflicts are truly deal-breakers?
How can you accept your differences without needing to break up?
What does "incompatibility" really mean and is it really true?
What are the MINIMUM VALUES for you to have a happy, healthy relationship?

We're going to have a great conversation that's guaranteed to help you feel more clear and more connected to the man you want to be.

Or...

$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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