Honesty is the most important antidote to all the
disappointments you feel in life. But it's scary as hell, especially being honest about your feelings!!!
By the time we get into our 30’s, 40’s 50’s and 60’s we have a long history of hiding our feelings, of manipulating people, telling half-truths and not being honest.
Anything but show how you might be feeling weak or ashamed and unconfident in yourself and your masculine energy.
When you call the emotion into the room, you call out the anger, the frustration, the hurt, the disappointment – that big, fat pink
elephant of that’s in the room – all of a sudden you take it's power away. The power you had given it over you.
Often our partners do a much better job of speaking their emotions right out into the room, which is why they go from angry to calm much quicker than we do.
When you speak your emotions out into the room, it dissolves the emotion – when you finally speak your truth.
So you haven’t had sex for two, three, four weeks, or six months or even
a year! And you’ve been playing this little lie that goes something like...
“Oh well maybe I just need to be patient, I won’t bug her, I’m afraid of rejection”
Right...?
I know, I've been exactly where you are remember!
I know that inside you're smoldering, feeling really hurt, angry and rejected, disappointed and most of all…you’re damn horny!!!
If you’re lying in bed at night or walking around in the morning, feeling really aroused, feeling really horny and you know for a fact that she’s not in the mood, why don’t you just try saying “you know what babe, I’m really horny!”
She’ll may well give you a look that says ‘what the hell’, but you’re not
asking her for sex, you’re just announcing to her and the world that right now you’re feeling really horny.
I know you may be squirming in your seat reading this thinking…no, I couldn’t say that.
But this is incredibly important for the trust and future connection in your marriage, because that hidden disappointment, that yearning, that craving, that urgent urge...she can feel it in you anyway. She knows!
What you would normally do is shuffle off with a scowl and disappointment, with your hard-on
deflating, feeling mad.
And it will happen again and again and again in your life unless you’re willing to be honest - be more like a horse. Horses are always honest.
When you speak
your truth, you'll immediately feel the change, as the pressure of holding in that emotion is released from your body.
No more avoiding that big fat pink elephant in the room, that pink elephant of horniness, and you'll feel better.
Believe me. It works every time.
Own the fact that you’re a sexual, passionate, caring man who loves to touch, feel, taste and smell everything about your partner and wanting her sexually.”
Many of the men we speak to each week are battling with speaking their truth out into the room. They’re struggling with anger, resentment, horniness and they’re hiding behind this agenda of not wanting to speak their truth and hoping they can somehow otherwise manipulate her into paying attention or pulling her weight or whatever.
Honesty will set you free!
It’s the most liberating skill you can have.
As we’re getting older we’re
losing time to tell the truth, so I want to encourage you to start telling the truth now.
Make sure you come from a place of love when you do it, don’t come from a place of resentment and anger and retaliation.
If you’re horny, say you’re horny. If you’re angry, say you’re angry. If you’re resentful, say you’re resentful. But don’t try to make it a personal attack; don’t say it from a place of blame and resentment.
Just tell the truth and see what it
does for how you feel in your body. Try it tomorrow morning.
If you’re ready to understand how to own your emotions and speak them boldly, below are some options for you to start right away...