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(This is part 1 in a 7-part series based on a true story.) 

Blake Was Respected Everywhere (Except At Home)

Meet Blake, a successful entrepreneur who came from nothing.

Blake started his construction business years ago with only a pickup truck and a few hand tools.

Today, he has a fleet of employees, a lot full of heavy equipment, and a glowing reputation in his community. 

Long before the sun rises, Blake is on his feet addressing the countless potential hiccups that could affect his crew's productivity for the day. 

Blake's customers love him. 

He always goes above and beyond to ensure the jobs his company completes are top quality. 

Nobody (not even Blake's wife) has any idea of the sheer number of responsibilities he tends to each day. 

Customers are difficult to please and hardly a day goes by when Blake isn't faced with a picky or confused customer. 

Even though he hates conflict, he feels confident in his ability to regain the favor of an angry customer when the situation arises. 

Blake comes home exhausted each day, yet proud of the empire he's created.

He rarely asks for help, even at home. 

Honestly, his biggest request is for his wife to make sure he has food, so he can keep his time and focus aimed at running his business.  

Contentions Started To Surface In Blake's Marriage

For years, Blake would open the fridge to retrieve the sandwich his wife made the night before as he ran out the door to start his day. 

Over the last few weeks, he was surprised when there wasn't a lunch made for him. 

This seemed to be happening more and more, so he brought it up with his wife Molly. 

Blake felt hurt. 

Nothing made him feel loved more than to open the fridge and see his sandwich waiting for him. 

Early in their marriage, Molly used to write love notes on his sandwich, making it a double treat.

Blake replied to Molly, "If it's easier for you, get those pre-made subs from Winco and just chop me off a piece each day, that will be good enough!"

Molly let out another long sigh before replying with, "Ok fine...But know each time you eat it how much I HATED making it" 

Ouch. 

Blake didn't know what he should do. 

He felt suggesting an easier option should have fixed the problem, but apparently, Molly didn't feel that way. 

As the weeks went on, Blake began to feel sad each time he ate his sandwich at lunch, knowing his wife had "made it out of hate". 

Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore. 

"Honey?”, Blake said one night while they were both in bed. 

Molly looked up at him. 

Blake continued, "I don't want you making my lunches anymore. Eating my sandwich knowing how much you hated making it is worse than no lunch." 

With a tone of relief, Molly said, "Good! I'm really busy with trying to figure out my own dream job. I've never wanted to be one of those women who is a homemaker!" 

Molly went on to explain how unfair it is that women are expected to cook and clean the house and men get to go out and be successful. 
 

This view shook Blake a bit. 
 

Blake considered running a business or pursuing a career as a necessary evil he wouldn't wish on anyone. 

He believed that if his wife chose to stay home, she wouldn't have to contend with the 300 daily stresses found in work life.

He didn't push the issue though. 

Blake loved Molly and if she wanted to be a woman with a career, he wasn't going to hold her back. 

The Deeper Layers Blake Missed

When Blake tried to fix the "sandwich problem", he focused on the sandwich as the problem. 

He didn't know that when women complain about something, the problem is rarely what they are complaining about. 

95% of the time, our wife's behavior is a REACTION.

She might be reacting to a vibe we gave her a while back, or even something totally unrelated. 

Over time, these reactions accumulate in her, putting her into a triggered state. 

Once she's in a triggered state, she'll complain or bring things up... things that wouldn't normally be a problem. 
 

We think we can fix the problem by addressing what she brought up, but that's like replacing a car's exhaust pipe hoping it will clear up a smoking engine.
 

What I personally know about Blake is he might have been a man who asked for very little, but he hoped for a lot more. 

When he slaved over QuickBooks until the wee hours of the morning, he wished Molly would step up and be his secretary. 
 

When Blake stood in Lowes trying to decide the color of patio blocks to install in his backyard, he resented that Molly wasn't by his side taking part in the project.  
 

Blake's dashed expectation grew seeds of resentment towards Molly. 

Blake thought he kept his frustrations hidden, But Molly could feel Blake's disapproval in his vibe. 

When a woman lives under the same roof as a man whose vibes wreak of dashed expectations, she feels unloved, not good enough, and unsupported. 

What Blake Could Have Done Differently 

Molly's sudden hatred of making sandwiches was a flag that something deeper was going on. 

Blake was so hurt by her reaction, that he only saw her immediate action as the problem. 

I'd put money on it that even if Blake had pushed the issue with Molly about WHY she didn't like making his sandwich, WHY she loathed the thought of it, and WHY she stopped writing love notes, she wouldn't have been able to give him a clear answer. 

This is because she was simply responding to his vibe and tone, and was likely as confused about her feelings as he was.

If Blake had known that this is how feminine reacts to masculine, he would have realized HE held the power to lead a NEW vibe. 
 

For Blake, his invisible expectations were what created his suffering and the disapproving vibes he brought to the room. 

If he had replaced his expectations with intentions, he could have led Molly to a new experience.  

How You Can Lead A New Experience With Your Wife

Having expectations is like begging by the side of the road with an empty bucket hoping someone contributes.

Do panhandlers turn you on? 

I doubt it. 
 

I doubt it turns your wife on too. 

When we have intentions, we can live within the freedom of that intention without needing anyone else to make it amazing. 

I know for me, I used to expect my wife and I to be the "power team" that takes on the world together!

That expectation led to a lot of disappointments and frustration. 

I understand now that my intention all along was to live self-reliant from the world's system. 

This is MY intention, MY freedom to enjoy creating, and MY journey that can invite her without expectations from her.  

Living to my intention creates a vibe of fulfillment in me now vs dashed expectations. 

Today, when my partner contributes, it's icing on the cake, not the cake. 

How You Can Make A Full 360 In You're Marriage

This article only touched the tip of the iceberg of what it means to be a masculine man in your relationship. 
 

Joining our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course is how you can learn the full process.

If you're highly successful with clients, employees, or running a business but can't succeed with your wife, you should sign up! 
 

Workplace confidence doesn't correlate to marriage confidence for many men. 

We created this course to address that problem. 

Gain this unique kind of confidence for your sake, for your family's sake, and for your wife's sake!  

Click HERE to pay and save your spot. 

Stay tuned over the next few days for part two of Blake's story. 

Be grounded brother, 

Garrett Prettyman

Associate Coach at GG2GM