It happens all the time, doesn’t it?
Sometimes it comes with a tone
of sarcasm or blame in her voice.
Other times she will be mean or disrespectful to you. Even worse, she may attempt to belittle you or emasculate you.
Whatever actually
is being said or done, you feel “triggered”. It like a switch that goes from “I’m okay” to “I’m totally NOT okay”.
When your woman (or any person for that matter) says or does something that triggers you into anger and defensiveness you feel powerless.
The switch has been thrown and your only option is to follow through with what she started. Engage. Defend. Argue. And fight to win.
But here’s the truth. There are NEVER
any winners when this happens.
Why? Because there is no way either of you can win. Nobody is going to say, “Oh, I guess I’m wrong. How stupid of me?”
And there is no way either of you will wind up feeling more trust, more respect, or more love by the time you’re done. It simply won’t happen.
But YOU have
options. You are in total control of the situation if you want to be.
How?
Don’t take the bait.
Don’t react from your emotions.
Learn to think and respond from a no-nonsense place of calm, deliberate compassion.
This means that your response must be confident and caring at the same time. Be confident in that you KNOW this is not going to escalate and be caring for that fact the she is experiencing some serious distress.
Even though you don’t accept responsibility for her distress, you can still calmly stand with her without feeling threatened or attacked.
Sounds easy, right? I know it’s
not. It takes time and consistency to practice.
And there is a critically important foundation you must have in place.
I talk more about it in the video
below: