The Common Habit That Keeps Men From Feeling Confident

Published: Wed, 06/19/24

Updated: Wed, 06/19/24

Hey brother,

Are you tired of saying “I’m sorry” and getting nothing in return

A common complaint men have about women is that they never say they’re sorry…for anything…ever.

Here’s what I know about these men. I know this because I was one.

My frustration with a woman’s inability to apologize was caused by my desire for reciprocation.

In other words, I spent so much time apologizing for everything I just wanted to hear her say it back – just once!

And therein lies the curse of the apologetic husband.

The more you accept blame and apologize the more angry and frustrated you will get about her not doing the same.

What if you just stopped apologizing?

What if you decided you had nothing to apologize for?

A guy like that will never get an apology from a woman. She knows his “apologitis” (a new disease I just made up) is caused by his desire to make her like him or approve of him.

I used to apologize for everything thinking that’s what nice guys do, right?

We fall on our sword. And women should dig that. The more we apologize, the more she will think we’re honest, kind and trustworthy.

And then she’ll want sex “fer sure!”

Wrong again. To her, “apologitis” feels tremendously annoying, manipulative, unmasculine and unsexy.

Why?

Because the only reason we are doing it is to make her like us or get her to apologize in return. It’s another one of those secret deals the “nice husband” makes to manipulate her into giving him what he wants.

And she can smell that on us at the molecular level.

Do you see now why it’s a losing proposition?

I talk about this more in the video below:

What Stupid Things Are You Apologizing For?

I want to challenge you to go “cold turkey” for 30 days. Stop apologizing for stupid things.

What stupid things, you ask? Here’s a quick list off the top of my head.

Do you make any of these apologies on a regular basis?

Apologize for her being mad

Apologize if she is upset about anything

Apologize for her bad news

Apologize for working late

Apologize for wanting sex

Apologize for being attracted to her

Apologize for just wanting to help

Apologize for being a man

Apologize for wanting time with your friends

Apologize for wanting affection

Apologize for not being able to read and listen to her at the same time

Apologize for touching or kissing her

Apologize for waking up with a raging erection

Apologize for not reading her mind

Apologize for not knowing what is bothering her

You Have to Stop Saying Stuff Like This!

This is what it sounds like.

“I’m sorry if this doesn’t make you happy”

“I’m sorry that me just trying to help you makes you mad”

“I’m sorry if I said something wrong”

“I’m sorry if wanting a kiss upset you”

“I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable when I initiate sex”

“I’m sorry your parents are absolutely freaking nuts and you feel like a victim and controlled by them.”

I’m not saying you should stop being a kind, compassionate, empathetic, caring and considerate man.

Do you think you would notice anymore if she wasn’t apologizing?

I think not. But that’s going to be hard, isn’t it?

That’s because some of us tend to apologize for anything and everything – even if we’ve done nothing wrong. Have you ever had a friend like that?

I’m saying you should stop with the “apologitis”. There are much better, more attractive ways to handle those issues.

The truth is you’re really not sorry for those things.

You’re just saying so because that’s what “nice husbands” do.

You’re hoping maybe she’ll say she’s sorry too. Maybe she will appreciate you more.

Don’t do that.

I challenge you not to apologise for thirty days.

Can you do it?

Email me and tell me how it feels.

I predict you will feel liberated.

And you just might hear your first apology from her!

If you're tired of being an overly apologetic husband, then below are some options for you to change right away...

Free: If you're serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.

What do I mean by "SERIOUS"?

We take YOU and your struggles seriously...because we've been there
We know living in a struggling marriage is serious...and so is showing your kids what a healthy, affectionate relationship looks like
A lack of consideration, respect and affection of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life

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As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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