The other day a man I met told me an embarrassing secret.

"I feel respected, appreciated and admired just about everywhere else in my life...except when I get home!"

He is normally a confident, high-achieving and successful man.  Can you relate?

He has worked hard to earn what he has.  He has mastered his craft and is highly knowledgeable and skilled.  He is regarded as credible, dependable, reliable and trustable.  He experiences a high level of respect and admiration from his colleagues and employees.

And, in his work life, he is easy-going, likeable, light-hearted and generous with his kindness, thoughtfulness and friendship.

Annnnnnd at home...not so much.

At home he feels less important and less appreciated.  His super powers at work don't seem to count for as much at home.  

And when she's mad or upset, he tends to feel her emotions as judgments of him.  He mistakes her complaints as criticism and her anger as disrespect.

Here's the dirty little secret.

He's quietly afraid of her.

He fears her ability to make him feel small and inadequate.  

He fears the possibility of abandonment.

In other words, he simply fears that she can hurt him.

And it's this fear that makes him think, say and do the very things that make his marriage miserable.  It's this fear that is the most reliable prediction his marriage won't last.

So what's the solution?  

I made a video about that.