When it comes to the things you really, really want are you "outcome dependent"?
Outcome dependence is the number one cause of unbridled neediness.
And neediness almost always leads to excessively controlling behavior.
In your relationships, controlling behavior is a death sentence.
Outcome dependence is not to be confused with being "goal oriented". Many of us dudes have tried to defend ourselves by claiming, "Well, I'm a goal setter and I like to make things happen. Whats wrong with having goals?!"
There's a big difference between making personal or business goals happen and making someone else like us, love us, touch us or want to be with us.
A man's secret fear of divorce is one example of outcome dependence. It's not just that he desires a long, healthy, happy
marriage...he absolutely, positively requires it.
There are no other options. His very life and well-being depend on it. And because of this dependence he will do anything to control the outcome.