How To Know If There's Still A Chance Of Saving Your Marriage?

Published: Tue, 01/16/24

Hey brother,

Here's one of our top five questions we get every day.

How do I know if it's too late...I mean, how do I know if I have a chance to save this marriage...I mean, how can I convince her she should stay...I mean HOW DO I KNOW WHEN SHE'S REALLY DONE?

It's really quite simple. Really.

If she is remarried and living a new life,

she's probably done.

From what I've seen after 12 years of working with men in this spot, wives give their husbands a LOT of time to convince her to stay.

"I'm done!" oftentimes means something other than "I'm done with YOU!" It might mean:

* I'm done with feeling unhappy

* I'm done with feeling insignificant and unappreciated

* I'm done with taking care of everyone but me

* I'm done with being a disappointment to everyone

* I'm done with having no fun, adventure or variety in my life

* I'm done with not FEELING IN LOVE! (I know, that's the

granddaddy of 'em all)

What if this is what she's "done with"?

What if these are the things that leads a woman to finally being "done with you"?

What does a man do with that?

How does he know she's not really leaving? And what should he start thinking, doing and saying differently to help the situation?

I talk to you about it in this video.

A word of caution about wanting her to stay. Listen closely...

If your burning desire is for her to stay with you...to just make it like it was before...or to take away your fear of being rejected and left all alone, you're probably going to end up divorced.

Why?

Because that's part of what most wives are "done with" too.

If the moment she says, "Okay, I'm staying." you breathe a huge sigh of relief, grab a beer, ask her for sex and then grab a tee time for Sunday...you've missed the point.

I want YOU to be done too.

I want you to be done with your marriage the way it was.

Marriage 1.0 needs a serious upgrade. Version 2.0 is essential and it can't be delayed another year in testing.

This means Version 2.0 of YOU must be your top priority.

This does NOT mean you must become a flailing white knight who falls over himself each hour checking in with her to see how can serve her Highness. (She's done with that crap too, by the way.)

Version 2.0 of you has new expectations of himself and how he shows up.

* He's not an angry, over-reacting guy anymore.

* He's not secretly pissed off and afraid of her.

* He's not distracting himself with lazy, unproductive habits.

* He is available, engaged and responsive to her without neediness.

* He has a new sense of mission...self of self...and clarity about HOW he wants to be.

And he doesn't waste time talking about it! (She's done with that too, by the way)

Version 2.0 of your relationship will require BOTH of you to upgrade your skills, your thinking and your habits.

You get to go first. Why? Because. That's why.

Men go first because they choose to, regardless of what anyone else is doing.

Period. (And, she's done with going first, by the way)

Tomorrow, I want you to try something new.

If you relate to this email, it means time is wasting.

Simple rules. Tomorrow is "remove all pressure" day.

1. Don't ask any questions about the relationship.

2. Don't argue about ANY stupid stuff.

3. Pay attention, really pay attention, when she is talking to you.
Allow silence when she paused and wait for more. Listen. Don't analyze or fix a damn thing.

4. Find something that makes you laugh...I mean really makes you laugh. (this is important)

Do this the second day and then the third day.

Then shoot me an email to tell me if you did it and how you felt. (we don't care if it "worked" or not). This is an accountability step.

Most men are not accountable to anyone for being better.

Most men are lone rangers in their relationships and have ZERO deep, meaningful and productive conversations with other smart men.

Most men are getting divorced simply because they don't know HOW to make the effort needed to stay married and create a better relationship.

Do you want to know more?

Free: Fill out our contact form for your "confident mojo tune up" consultation call - it's a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on to get you moving toward what you really want.

Free: Take Our Masculinity Mastery Self Assessment Here

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. It's a $69 investment. You get INSTANT access to 5 years of recorded sessions! Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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