How To Resuscitate Your Dying Marriage

Published: Sat, 01/13/24

Hey brother,

Clarity - an instantaneous realization of TRUTH.

Once you get a clear understanding of the reality of your situation, the cobwebs of uncertainty and indecision are gone. Your mind sharpens.

You know just what to THINK...what to SAY...and what you will DO next.

No more fear. No more walking on eggshells.

Just clear, calm, confident courage.

Read on to find out how it works.

Here's What a Lack of Clarity Sounds Like

Whenever she criticizes me, I don't have a clue how to respond.
I don't know what to do for our anniversary because we're talking about separating.
She won't agree to marriage counseling, so what should I do now.
I think she's seeing someone else, but I don't know if I should confront her or not.
I think I need to end this relationship, but I'm afraid of how to bring it up.

Here's Why a Lack of Clarity Sucks

We feel stuck in limbo and uncertainty with no way out.
We feel out of control with no power or influence in our life or relationship.
We feel like a big, fat loser
We live in a world of blame and resentment which makes matters worse.
We are wishy-washy, tentative and unattractive...and we hate feeling like that.

Here's How the 2x4 of Clarity Helps You

The 2x4 of Clarity is almost like MAGIC.

But the magic doesn't come from outside of you. It doesn't come from your coach or therapist.

Clarity is always available to you because it is self-created.

Once you're hit with the 2x4 of Clarity, you gain an instant connection with your internal wisdom.

Your personal compass becomes aligned with a clearly defined understanding of your personal values.

You KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND WHAT YOU WANT.

The FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN is replaced with a clear, calm decision that things shall change for you. They must.

And now the fear of things staying the same drives you toward a clarity and decisiveness that feels like you've been shot out of a cannon.

You are now clear about WHAT YOU WANT and no longer worry about WHAT YOU DON'T WANT.

How We Help You Find Clarity, Confidence and Courage

The GG2GM coaching philosophy and methodology is very, very specialized. We work only with men. Men exactly like you...in YOUR situation and in YOUR current mindset and relationship predicament.

Our style of coaching de-emphasizes the importance of measuring your clarity, confidence and courage by the responses of your partner or the current temperature of your relationship.

What we know CLEARLY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY is that happy, secure, clear-headed, confident and courageous men are created from the inside out. And THAT is what we will measure...from this point forward.

And your REALITY will change instantly with each and every permanent change you make in your thinking, your perspective and your RESPONSES to external events and circumstances.

This is why CLARITY is so important.

It clarity about:

What values and operating principles you hold yourself accountable to
What you expect of yourself and FOR yourself as a self-respecting, confident man of value
How to respond lovingly and effectively to those who are acting outside your personal values and boundaries
How to respond fearlessly to outside triggers and challenges without being an asshole

The 3 Outcomes You Can Expect From Gaining More Clarity

There are 3 specific outcomes I see if you choose to work with us to find your clarity and improve your self-respect, happiness, confidence, independence and your sense of purpose.

My data applies only if you are serious about personal growth. You must be serious, focused and committed to becoming the best man possible without any attachment to a specific outcome.

In my experience, you can expect about a 33% chance of falling into one of these categories.

Your relationship shifts into neutral.

It doesn’t get much worse or much better. It becomes much less shitty, has much less conflict and much less drama. It’s functional, but not satisfying and nowhere near what you consider to be happy. You are an unhappy married man. And you choose to stay that way.

Your relationship ends.

You consciously and deliberately decide to end it with honor and grace. You move forward with clarity and confidence and create a life of purpose, independence, freedom, love and pleasure. You feel slightly sad and guilty about the past, but those feelings wane over time and you don’t let them stop you from moving forward. You are a happy divorced man.

Your relationship improves significantly.

You consciously, deliberately and mutually decide to carve out a new relationship with honor and grace. You move forward with clarity and confidence and create a life of purpose, independence, freedom, love and pleasure. You feel slightly sad and guilty, but those feelings wane over time and you don’t let them stop you from moving forward. You are a happy married man.

As you can see, all outcomes are better than the status quo.

And you have a 66% chance of winding up happy.

So, if I had to give an answer to the question, “What’s your success rate?”

I’d say you’ve got about a 66% chance of being a happy man if you’re willing to make some major changes in the way you think and behave – no matter what happens.

5 Questions to See if You Will Die an Unhappy Married Man

Do you believe all of the problems in your life and marriage are mostly someone else’s fault?
Do you believe your happiness is mostly the result of what other people are doing, thinking, or saying?
Does the idea of introspection, reading, learning and talking about being a clear-headed, decisive, confident man make you want to puke?
On scale of 1 to 10, with ten being the worst thing imaginable, do you rate your fear of divorce an 8 or higher?
On scale of 1 to 10, with ten being extremely likely, do you rate the probability of you living 30 more years like this a “5” or higher?

Results: If you answered “Yes” to one or more of those questions, you will likely die an unhappy married man.

It’s that simple.

My data don’t lie.

But There’s Hope!

There was a time when I answered “yes” to all five questions.

I had nobody in my life to tell me about my options. Nobody was there to explain the concept of “being a better man”.

I didn’t know anyone who was truly self-respecting, self-approving and self-validating. Therefore, I had no positive model for my masculine frame and I was surrounded by people in shitty or failed relationships.

I played the victim and I stewed for decades not knowing what I could do differently.

Even though on the outside I was professionally successful, confident and happy…my insides were twisted in knots.

It wasn’t until the beginning of my divorce and just after my 50th birthday that things turned around for me.

I met powerful, initiated, and wise men who were talking about things I never heard before. They talked passionately about:

Unapologetic masculinity
What women really need in a relationship
Confidence and clarity of values
Owning your sexuality
Openness, vulnerability and boldly speaking your truth
The value of other men and men’s work (wtf was that?)

This is when all the lights came on for me. Epiphany after epiphany.

Blinding flashes of the obvious. (CLARITY)

I thought it would help me fix my marriage but it was too late. My marriage was ending and there was nothing I could do…and I was okay with that.

Better than okay.

A sense of calmness settled in for me. True happiness. And I knew there was something coming that I never even imagined before and I couldn’t wait to find out.

It turns out that Dr. Henry Cloud was right when he said in his book, Necessary Endings,

“Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth itself demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.”

Sometimes this means ending a behavior or a mindset. Sometimes it means ending an argument. And sometimes it means ending a relationship.

If you refuse to die an unhappy married man, then below are some options for you to change right away…

Free: Fill out our contact form for your "2x4 of clarity" consultation call - it's a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on to get you moving toward what you really want.

Free: Take Our Masculinity Mastery Self Assessment Here

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. It's a $69 investment. You get INSTANT access to 5 years of recorded sessions! Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

************

Please know you are always in control of your subscription to this newsletter and the use of your email address. You signed yourself up and you can “unsign” yourself anytime you please by clicking the “Unsubscribe” link at the bottom of this email. I will always respect your privacy and personal data. You may email me directly if you ever have any questions or concerns about the use of your personal information.

Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

Unsubscribe | Change Subscriber Options