What Helps When You're Lonely In Your Marriage

Published: Tue, 02/27/24

Hey brother,

I haven't been "drunk" for a very long time.

And then my neighbor shows up last night with a guitar, some beer and a shit eating grin. The rest is history.

I woke up in a fog...fell back asleep...finally ate something...took a nap...now here I am.

Most of the day I couldn't get the motivation to do more than take a piss and scroll through some Goodguys2Greatmen community posts. (these guys are deep in conversation 24/7)

As I laid there I was reading posts about guys who are battling feelings of rejection, isolation, disconnection and sadness.

Then those nagging thoughts of anger and resentment pop into the picture.

This is important because those thoughts are the "gateway drugs" for anxiety and depression.

We often talk about tactics and techniques to change these feelings. We talk about finding hobbies, reading books, meditation and exercise.

Those things can be very helpful.

But they are NOT a substitution for a "belief system".

This isn't about religion.

This is about BELIEVING that your self-diagnosis of being sad, angry, rejected or worthless is kind of funny.

Yes. It is a self imposed sentence. And I want you to learn to laugh how quickly most of us guys do this to ourselves.

Your dark, negative emotions are entirely created by a belief that they just happened to you like a drive-by emotional shooting. (aka. somebody else's fault, dammit!)

It's funny because you're NOT actually sad, angry, rejected or worthless. You just THINK you are.

Before I go on, watch this video where I dive into ONE THING I believe can help you change your thinking about this so you can change your FEELINGS about this.

Then, if you want to exercise, meditate or read a book...go for it!

What Helps When You're Lonely In Your Marriage

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE MEANT FOR?

Hard question, I know. How about I give you ONE thing to consider. See if you can choose to believe this may be true.

Your ONLY purpose is very simple.

You are here to Live, Laugh and Love.

These are things you control. These are things for you to create, to enjoy and then to share with others.

That's it. Seriously.

If you can accept that then you'll also have to accept ownership for being the kind of man who OWNS this purpose.

Nobody...and I mean nobody else is responsible for you achieving that purpose.

Even in the darkness of living like a roommate with a cold, distant, dismissive, unaffectionate, disconnected and disrespectful wife this is true. (yep, those are the words most of us use constantly)

LIVING means you own the process of creating connections with others and creating experiences that make you feel alive and significant. (even if your wife isn't interested)

LAUGHING means you own the process of finding the humor in yourself and your experience of living. It's finding your heartbeat of curiosity and amusement with how things work and how people are. (it's like the trick of pulling the curtain back in the Wizard of Oz...that silly old man!)

LOVING means you own the process of giving yourself to others. It means giving your inherent manly values of grace and love. Marriages are not where men go to find happiness...it's where they go to learn how to love. (sometimes like a friggin' boot camp) And "loving" is a place to come from...not a place to get to. It only comes back to us when we give it without expectations (mastering this is a key focus of our coaching programs)

There you go.

Simple, but obviously not "easy".

It requires a change of THINKING and then a change in how you are BEING.

I want more than anything in this world to help you with that change.

This is MUCH easier with other high quality men in your life who believe in you perhaps more than you believe in yourself at the moment.

I want to invite you to join some incredibly amazing men who have walked in your shoes - or are walking in them now.

The GG2GM Men's Roundtable Community is the perfect place for you to get the support, insight, encouragement and coaching you need.

Members of this tribe include me, my colleague Dan Dore and our certified coaches who are there to help you find your feet again.

The membership is a monthly cost of $69 which you can cancel anytime you want.

When you become a member of this Roundtable, you will get:

Membership into a private tribe of brothers who care about you
Access to THREE LIVE COACHING CALLS EACH MONTH my colleague, Dan Dore and I and other GG2GM coaches.
A password to a private web page with all the session recordings (past five years as well!), reading resources, personal challenge assignments and a running list of frequently asked questions with our written answers.
Membership into an exclusive and secret Facebook community with just Roundtable members. More support is provided here 24/7.
Exclusive access to our team of coaches who are available to talk with you privately when you need it.

Click THIS LINK and scroll to the bottom and sign up.

I promise you that this group of open hearted, initiated men will welcome you with wide open arms.

And some other options we have to help you get out of these confusing, difficult feelings you're struggling with are:

Free: Fill out our contact form for your "Stop Feeling Lonely & Isolated" consultation call - it's a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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