"Oblivious" Confidence Has An Expiration Date
Once we choke this reality down, we show you how to live from a framework that is secure and trustable.
If we compare marriage to a pond, and lack of intimacy to an alligator, the alligator was there the whole time.
We think pretty highly of ourselves when obliviously basking in the sun by an alligator-filled pond.
We'll bark commands, overlook emotions, and insist her apprehension to have sex by the alligator pond is irrational.
When we're "obviously" confident, we're not aware of the gators we're stomping on each time we lash out, "fix" or abandon our wife's emotional world.
But hey, we didn't know what we didn't know...
Eventually, the clock runs out, alligators crawl out of the water, and we're faced with reality.
When I teach guys how I gained REAL confidence when my wife stopped being intimate, I'm teaching CONSCIOUS confidence.
Conscious, REAL Confidence Is Only Born Through Suffering
I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite (form of Amish) church with a 0% divorce rate.
We were a private community completely separate from society.
We didn't have TVs or radios and we were only permitted to marry within the Mennonite community.
Courtship was practiced instead of dating
(think of courting akin to only dating someone you've already decided you will marry).
My happy, self-assured, cocky-self crumbled when I first asked a girl for courtship and she refused my offer.
This was a point where I could have developed
conscious confidence, but I didn't.
With my mojo in the toilet, I repressed into victimhood.
Needless to say, I attracted zero lovers for several years.
Eventually, I got enough spark back, that it caught my future wife's eye.
Since divorce was unheard of in ultra-conservative Mennonite churches nationwide, the thought
never crossed my mind that I could be divorced.
Fast forward 10 years later.
My wife and I were no longer part of the Mennonite community.
I found myself holding divorce papers that I didn't want to sign.
My suffering this time was rock bottom for me.
It's only from this place of deflated ego and clarity of reality that "conscious" confidence is born.
How I Gained REAL Confidence
The way I developed conscious, REAL confidence was by spending time around men
who already had what I wanted while continuing to FACE my pain.
Every time I had a victim mindset or a resentful rant these men would challenge me, call me out on my BS, and show me the love and acceptance I had been chasing women for.
In time, I learned to face "alligators" knowing they've always been there.
I was ok when I obliviously faced them, and I'll be more than okay when I consciously face them.
Having this type of relaxed, trustable confidence as a leader is the secret to making a marriage work.
At face value, the Mennonites appear to have cracked the code, but their approach brings on a whole other list of issues we'll discuss another
time.
My time as a Mennonite let me see firsthand how when a man leads with confidence, the right woman will follow, and the relationship thrives like it's supposed to.
How You Can Gain REAL Confidence Before
Memorial Day
If you register before February 29th, you can use promo code CONFIDENCE to get a 10% discount.
The value you'll gain is a culmination of experienced men who have been in your shoes.
We men tend to hang onto the last shred of our ego before finally reaching out for help.
Don't wait until all hope is lost to turn your marriage around by taking action for your self-development.
I'm the perfect example of stubbornly holding out to save a dollar only to save nothing.
Be grounded brother,
Garrett Prettyman
