How To Stop Arguing & Fighting With Your Wife (Before It's Too Late)

Published: Tue, 08/29/23

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Hey brother,

I was talking with a client the other day and he told me had never seen RAGE like he saw in his wife's face.

They were having a heated discussion and he decided to just end it by calling her the "C" word.

It's the one word women have told me they hate hearing more than any other name you could call them. And it's not what you might be thinking.

He said, I'm done with this. You're just crazy!

Oh yes he did. He used the crazy word.

And it began an emotional nuclear reaction that lasted for the next 14 days.

He told me he had never seen such an intense combination of RAGE and TEARS at the same time.

Do you know why this is one of the most destructive words you can use in your relationship?

I get really clear and explicit in this video.

Pouring gas on the fire of shame

When it comes to name-calling, we know exactly where to poke the most sensitive nerves in each other.

You may be confused by your woman. You may think she's being irrational. You may think she is living in the past.

But calling her "crazy" is like pouring salt on a gaping wound of shame.

As Brene Brown's research has shown, many women have decades of conditioning around the "not good enough" shame trigger. And the one person she hoped wouldn't poke that trigger is you.

It's easy for us guys to empathize with this if we're willing to stop taking things personally for a minute.

Think about a time when you've been feeling upset, aggravated, inadequate, clumsy, clingy, unappreciated and/or unloved.

And then someone says, Just stop being a pussy!

Oh yes they did!

I know! It trips a shame trigger that feels like a dagger in the gut. It rubs salt in the male shame wound of "being weak".

Now you know how she feels. It's called empathy.

It's the secret sauce and fail safe solution to the toxic habit of name calling and shame triggering.

And when you get clear, strong and confident in your own masculine frame, you can employ empathy in ways that will change the entire tone of your relationship.

What if?...

She's not crazy. She's afraid.

She's not crazy. She's angry.

She's not crazy. She's feeling disconnected and dismissed.

What if if you had another pair of glasses to see the truth?

What if you learned to be more aware and more skillful in how you respond?

What if you knew exactly what she needed to trust you enough to move closer?

Somebody needs to lead the way here, brother. And that's you.

This short lesson on the "crazy trigger" is one of dozens of things we teach you when you join the Goodguys2Greatmen coaching and community of men.

We want to help you make powerful changes in yourself and improve your relationship faster in a few weeks than you ever thought possible.

Apply for a free "I Want To Stop Reacting & Start Leading" consultation call - these consultations are actually mini-coaching sessions and you will hang up feeling like "what the hell just happened?"...in a really good way.

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If you're facing a crisis right now, and urgently need support, you can schedule a single 90-minute laser-focused personal coaching session here.

Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching program. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. It's a $69 investment. Try it for one month.

Tim Wade and I are doing one more Confident Man Ranch Retreat this year in October. This is in Colorado and is a mind-blowing time on a beautiful mountain ranch. This is a guaranteed game changer if you are in a struggling relationship.

How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

What have you got to lose?

With love, brother,

Steve

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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