Have you ever been told to "get a life" by your wife or girlfriend?
It feels both insulting and confusing.
She's implying you're being a pain in her ass. She thinks you should find something better to do than what you're doing now.
And you're confused because you assumed that being with her was a big part of your life. Your relationship is a priority to you. How can she not feel the same way!?
What does she really mean when she says you
need to get a life?
She's saying your lack of
interests outside of her is making you much less interesting to her than she would like. It's that simple.
The single biggest threat to a man's long term sense of confidence, emotional strength, worthiness and overall well-being is this:
ISOLATION FROM OTHER
MEN
Historically, women have done a much better job of maintaining ties to their female tribe members who they can trust to understand them, support them and encourage them.
On the other hand, men
have been developing some pretty self-destructive habits.
- We think we can handle any issue alone - so we isolate ourselves from possible friends and mentors.
- We place 90% of our priorities on our roles of provider, husband and father - so we have no time left for strong male relationships outside of those priorities.
- We use our downtime with electronic activities of all types to decompress, detach and isolate ourselves from responsibility and engagement.
We do this at the expense
of our need to BELONG to something bigger than ourselves.
When a woman tells us to "get a life" we should hear it this way.
I would really love to see you get passionate about yourself, your life, your friends and your purpose. That would be so hot!
*****
Don't get me wrong.
I still want you to WANT her. I still want you to pursue her as your life partner and beautiful lover.
I still want you to be available, engaged and responsive to your family.
I still want you to be a leader.
But I also want you to
know that your long term sense of personal value, attractiveness and overall MOJO cannot be fostered by just your wife and family.
You need a family of strong, smart, initiated men who totally understand you.
They understand what hurts you and scares you.
These men share your values and your desires for creating an amazing life of love and laughter.
These are men you can trust when you're down and men who will believe in your more than you believe in yourself sometimes.
I would love to see you make this priority for yourself in 2023.
In this video I explain more about why COMMUNITY is so important.
