A Happier Marriage Requires A Happier Man Leading It

Published: Fri, 08/11/23

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Hey brother,

This quotation has been following me around for years. It haunts me every now and then with its stark truth and implied personal challenge.

Only two things change your life: either something new comes into your life, or something new comes out of you.

~ Brendan Burchard

The part that gets me is the implied threat that if I don't figure out something new to come out of me then I'll just be sitting around waiting for stuff to happen to me.

I will remain a victim of my circumstances and a puppet for the priorities of others.

I don't know about you but that makes me feel really agitated.

I spent much of the first half of my life reacting to surprises coming my way. I would gladly accept the good things that fell into my lap and begrudgingly tolerate the bad things I didn't like.

When it comes to the quality of our romantic relationships we often make the same mistakes.

We treat good days as pleasant surprises.

And we treat bad days as unpleasant inevitabilities.

When we operate this way we feel a total lack of influence over our relationship experience. Our feelings of connection, intimacy and confidence are fleeting and unpredictable.

And THAT is what keeps a man on edge. Grouchy. Irritated.

He feels alone and powerless because he is waiting for something new to come into his relationship while nothing new is coming out of him.

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." ~ Abraham Lincoln

Abe Lincoln's quote above speaks to the common problem with the pursuit of happiness.

It's not a "pursuit" after all. It's a DECISION.

And most people's unhappiness in life and in their relationships comes from bad habits and bad choices.

In other words, I believe happiness in life and relationships is a LIFESTYLE.

And with consistency in our lifestyle of habits and choices come the results.

Unhappiness is caused by the mistake of getting the order wrong.

If we're looking for connection, intimacy and confidence to come from somewhere OUTSIDE of us, unhappiness is the very predictable and consistent result.

I talk more about this cold, hard truth in this video.

A Happier Marriage Requires A Happier Man Leading It

Is it Really That Simple?

In theory, yes.

In practice, no.

Why?

Because every man is capable of an INTELLECTUAL understanding of everything I just said.

But, the real work and the real journey require you to adopt a deep emotional and spiritual connection to this truth.

And when a man does THAT...and he makes the commitment to consistently developing better habits and better choices he sees results very quickly.

The hard part comes in 3 key areas.

1. You must declare and own your new habits and choices with clarity and without apology.

2. You must be accountable and consistent.

3. You must have other initiated men to support and encourage you every day.

I've found it's virtually impossible to succeed at those 3 things on your own. You will get fuzzy headed, wishy-washy, inconsistent and unfocused. Then you'll slide back into the bad habits and choices that created your current reality.

That's what happened to me and other men tell me it has happened to them multiple times too.

This is why we've created many options to help you succeed in this.

And after many years of working with many men I can promise you one thing...

This sh*t works.

Stop waiting for your circumstances to change, ask for a free "I'm Ready To Start Changing Me & My Circumstances" consultation call - these consultations are actually mini-coaching sessions and you will hang up feeling like "what the hell just happened?"...in a really good way.

Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching program. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. It's a $69 investment. Try it for one month.

Tim Wade and I are doing one more Confident Man Ranch Retreat this year in October. This is in Colorado and is a mind-blowing time on a beautiful mountain ranch. This is a guaranteed game changer if you are in a struggling relationship.

How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with Steve, coach Tim Wade, and community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

What have you got to lose?

With love, brother,

Steve

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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