Your Wife Smells Your Fear Like Poo On A Shoe

Published: Tue, 08/01/23

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Hey brother,

I've made my annual trek to the top of an 8 foot ladder this week to spend time with the hummingbirds of summer. I do this each year to remind myself the importance of staying OUT of the "Hummingbird Zone".

What's that?

It's the jittery, unpeaceful and insecure feeling that tells you, "I'm NOT okay...DO SOMETHING...ANYTHING now!"

I use the hummingbird as a metaphor for that competitive, nervous, impatient energy of feeling like you must fix something right now.

This is the energy of FEAR.

It's the fear that circumstances happening outside of you are threatening your well-being and you're losing all control.

The fear of "loss of control" over your circumstances is especially scary because you have NO IDEA how to control things that are out of your control.

The hummingbird is always WORKING at controlling his outside circumstances and, therefore, never gets a break. He always seems frantic, panicky and unhappy.

This is what the Mountain Lion knows that the Hummingbird doesn't.

When you constantly work to control things you can't you will never be able to focus on controlling the things you can.

This is why the Mountain Lion is the perfect metaphor for that calm, wise, patient and emotionally SECURE energy we all want.

He KNOWS he's okay and he knows everything will be okay.

And he knows that constantly working to change outside circumstances is a colossal waste of time and totally ineffective.

He knows his most efficient and effective way of BEING is to stay on his rock and be an observer...not a reactor like his hummingbird friend.

I explain more in this video with real live hummingbirds.

Wife Smells Your Fear Like Poo On Her Shoe

I love this quote by Rumi (Persian poet from 1207). He made use of everyday life circumstances to describe the spiritual world. It figures I'd be attracted to him.

Even 800 years ago wise men were aware that winning battles inside ourselves is monumentally more important than winning battles outside ourselves.

As I mention in the video, we talk a lot about how Goodguys2Greatmen coaching will bring your confidence and mojo back.

The hidden truth behind that claim is this.

We are really helping you rid yourself of INSECURITY.

At the root of every relationship problem is insecurity.

At the root of self-doubt and defensive reactions is insecurity.

And at the root of your perceived unhappiness is insecurity.

You can work to do this yourself by acknowledging the "hummingbird stories" you've been telling yourself.

Start writing down all the fears you have swirling in your head. Give them LIFE. Make them sound FUNNY. Try to EXAGGERATE them until you begin to see the cracks in the story.

The truth is you really have nothing to be afraid of. You really don't.

One client said:

"I just started imagining my wife leaving me for some low-life who just got out of prison and they wound up living in a van down by the river eating government cheese.

And then I imagined meeting an amazing, beautiful, smart, affectionate woman and we had an incredible life together. In this story I've become calm, confident and relaxed in everything I do. She loves it and, more importantly, I love it!"

The funny thing is that story actually came true...except for the van down by the river part.

*****

If you don't want to do this all by yourself, here are some great options for you.

You can choose to join me, Dan, Tim and our other coaches in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching program. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. It's a $69 investment. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

Tim Wade and I are doing one more Confident Man Ranch Retreat this year in October. This is in Loveland, Colorado and is a mind-blowing time on a beautiful mountain ranch, incredible horseback rides and transformational coaching. This is a guaranteed game changer if you are in a struggling relationship.

You can confront your fear of asking for help and ask for a free "Get Rid Of The Stench" consultation call to dive long and deep into what you want and get some immediate ideas on how to create that.

And...stay tuned for the announcement of our next Mexico Mojo Mastery retreat this winter for men a little further along in their journey looking to sharpen their masculine mojo tool set.

So...let me ask you a question.

What would a Mountain Lion do? (#WWMLD)

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

With love, brother,

Steve

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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