The three ways to know if you're being needy
are:
1. Unhealthy anger
2. Unhealthy arguing
3.
Unhealthy loneliness
Wait. Doesn't everyone get angry, argumentative and lonely sometimes?
Yes. Absolutely.
But there are healthy ways a person
experiences those things and unhealthy ways.
Persistent and uncontrollable anger is usually a sign that you have unhealthy expectations of
someone or something. Unhealthy expectations are those that are REALLY just "silent demands" you're making on others to make you feel good. They are hard "rules" you've created in your mind for how things or people are SUPPOSED to be. And when they aren't - you lose it. It shows up to others as neediness. You NEED them to do or be something to make you feel better about yourself and to make the anger go away.
Constant arguing and creating conflict is usually a sign you have a need to "win" or to be "right" about something. It's also a sign that you don't feel confident in yourself and you need to
defend your feelings or your opinion. It shows up to others as neediness. You NEED to be heard and to be right in order to feel validated - that you are not crazy or stupid. You want to feel respected and you're finding that arguing isn't the best tool.
Feeling lonely whenever you're alone is usually a sign that you're not happy with your own company. Aloneness doesn't need to result in loneliness when you're actually aware of your own value and well-being and satisfied with who you are. Feeling lonely all the time is a sign you're looking outside yourself for affirmation and approval that you're good
enough. It shows up to others as neediness. You NEED them to take away your loneliness by rescuing you from your own insecure internal world.
Hey, I warned you this might
sting. I remember the harsh burn of facing this news very clearly.
I've discovered the road to healthy SELF-RELIANCE and cool, calm, peaceful self-confidence can be a little bumpy.
Sometimes emails like this punch you in the nose and you want to hit back.
I get
it.
But...I want to offer you a solution.
What if you
found out the road isn't all that scary when you're with men who have already traveled it - many times. And they can reassure and guide you every step of the way.
Will you make yourself a priority this
year?
Most men don't. They are too busy taking care of everyone else. Too busy minding the store and making the money. They are focused on the "outside game" of winning life.
But their "inside game" of confidence and clarity is suffering badly.
You can only improve your inside game with other men.
We want to meet you and show you how it's done...
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said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” I simply LOVE doing this work with men because it lights up my life to watch you charge back into your life with a grin on your face and swagger in your step. |
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