I often talk about the importance of a man needing to find his own happiness.

But in a relationship, an exclusive, romantic, committed, sexual partnership, at some point there is an overlap where you two actually have to have a relationship.

How do you RESPOND to a woman who is pulling away and acting like a roommate instead of a romantic partner?

You must get very clear on the following...

What you believe about your relationship.

What you expect FROM yourself in that relationship.

What you expect FOR yourself in that relationship.

Where you want the relationship to go.

Where your life and relationships to be in the future.

More statements. Less questions. 

Not requesting permission for what you are missing.

Stating what you WILL have no matter what.

Knowing that you are a valuable man with a lot to offer that many, many women would love to receive from you.

So what do you want?

A relationship with a woman who actually shares the value of affection, admiration, support and adoration?

I think we can all agree on that! 

A relationship where we like to spend time and plan time together and we enjoy each other’s company...someone who has my back and I have theirs?

Yes! Write it down in your own words...words that make you stand up for what you believe in.

What else...? I want you to get super clear on what you want.

And I don’t just want that. I want more things from life too. I have a mission of other things that I want that make me happy.

A relationship with a woman who wants to be with me in the way that I want to be with her?

Great! Now just how committed are you to this want of yours?

If your woman is showing relationship values that go totally against everything you believe, then you’ve got a real problem on your hands.

The way you respond to it is to be very honest and to speak very clearly about who you are, what you want and where you’re going.

You’re not telling her what she should do, you’re not making rules and you’re not giving conditions or veiled threats or ultimatums. You’re simply informing her, who you are, what you want and where you’re going.

Sometimes you can do that energetically without saying anything. She can feel it in a man’s bones when he knows he’s getting his mojo back and he isn’t going to stand for a relationship that is a roommate status.

She knows full well that what is going on is not acceptable in the relationship. All she is doing is something to fill up her cups right now. She doesn’t feel connected, she doesn’t think you know what you want, she doesn’t think you know where you’re going and she doesn’t think you’ll stand up for yourself.

That’s what I want to help you with. 

There was a time when I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted or where I was going. But I’m here to tell you that it’s so liberating when you do know those things and you can speak your truth right off the top of your head. You don’t need to remember anything because when you’re honest, the words come and you don’t care what the consequences are.

I always say:

“When you speak from your truth and you’re clear about who you are, what you want and where you’re going, the consequences of a man being that honest and that open, those are the consequences that are supposed to happen.”

And if you fear that she may leave you because she may not want what you want – well then the question is:

“Why would you stay with somebody who very clearly doesn’t want what you want?”

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