One of my favorite fiction books is The Art of Racing in the Rain, by Garth Stein. I lost count of how many
times this book made my eyeballs swell up...pushing back tears.
It's about car racing, risk, love, cancer, death, dogs...life.
Here's one of many classic quotes from the book.
"There is no dishonor in
losing the race. There is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid to lose."
One of the main characters is Denny - a race car driver. This guy never loses a race in the rain.
Why?
Because he trained himself to become more comfortable at
something that freaked out everyone else.
He learned how to be calm, comfortable and confident when all 4 tires broke loose!
Instead of white-knuckling the steering wheel and sitting on pins and needles he just learned to intentionally go into a 4 wheel skid.
Why again?
Because it was predictable. He was finally in control. He knew exactly what that car would do in that state...and he milked it good.
He was pushing the scary edge that kept all
the other drivers off the gas...tapping their brakes.
But not Denny. He would tap the gas and start his slide into a whole new comfort zone. A zone only HE found comfortable.
From there you can predict what happens. He slides through the turns and passes other drivers like they are standing still.
Some thought he was reckless. But Denny knew better.
Better to tell your car when to skid than sit around wondering when it's going to skid on you.
Are you still with me?
I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.
This is exactly how I think men should be thinking about their life.
I hung out in the middle of the pack for 30 years - tapping my brakes and letting off the gas.
I was afraid of pushing the scary edges of what I wanted and becoming the man I knew I could be.
I was a people pleasing,
egg-shell walking good guy who thought settling for good enough was...well...good enough.
What I learned is that "good enough" is the mindset of a man who is settling for less than what he really wants.
If you want to have a relationship and sex life that rocks your world, you need to be pushing an edge you've never faced.
If you want more adventure, variety and spontaneity in your life, you need to make some scary decisions.
Here's a quick video I made for you about
that.
