I want to talk with you about creating the kind of life and relationship you really, really want.

I didn’t say “getting” the life you want or “having” the life you want.

What if you just DECIDED to start living the life you want right this moment?

What kind of man would you have to BE in order to make that choice?

We seek permission – acceptance – reciprocation – validation. We wait for others to give us what we want instead of just LIVING LIKE WE WANT.

There’s a lesson here for you and I, so I made this video to explain it further.

What if happiness, what if connection, what if sexuality and affection wasn’t a place to go to. What if it was a place to come from?

As children we all started life with the most affectionate, playful, happy, connected looks on our faces and our energy was TOTALLY non-negotiable love, connection, happiness, goofiness and playfulness. 

We had no fear at all about being affectionate, connected and happy in our own skin. 

We had no reason to. 

Marianne Williamson said “Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn”. 

I think we learn to fear all kinds of things over the years which make us act less and less like goofy, playful, fun loving and affectionate men.

Which is why Dan and I love this analogy of the golden retriever energy.

Golden Retrievers Don’t Give a Sh*t. 

They don’t care if you’re not happy. 

They don’t care if you’re not affectionate. 

They don’t care if you’re not feeling connected. 

They don’t care if you’re having a bad day. 

Golden retrievers DON’T GIVE A SH*T. 

What if we men started to think more like that? 

Why don’t we believe we can behave and embody the energy of a Golden Retriever and just BE a kind man – an affectionate man – a respectful man – a considerate man – a sexual man – a hugging man – a kissing man? 

Why can’t we live the life of a Golden Retriever who doesn’t give a sh*t?

The answer is clear. 

We start to fear what other people will think if we’re unapologetically affectionate. 

We’re afraid of reactions. 

We’re afraid of rejection of our attempts for connection, touch and intimacy. 

That fear builds up inside and tells us to stop acting like a young child. Stop acting like a Golden Retriever. 

But we’re still magnetically attracted to people and animals who act that way. 

You may know some people like this. 

They actually live the life they want on their terms. 

They’re not going anywhere to find it. They’re not waiting to have it. And they’re not depending on anybody else’s mood or behavior to give them the life they want. 

They’re coming from the assumption that they are already there.  

Their belief is that they are already well into the process of being that person. 

I still have a lot of fear about what people might think and what they might say. 

I still fear rejection and avoid people who are in a bad mood. 

And it’s that fearful energy that makes me feel uninspired and uninspiring to the rest of the world - and my intimate, sensual, sexual, romantic partner. 

So today I’m going to start embracing my inner Golden Retriever. And that’s the challenge I want to give you today. 

Spend the next 7 days in the skin of a Golden Retriever. 

Kiss what you want to kiss. 

Hug what you want to hug. 

Chew up what you want to chew up. 

Eat what you want to eat 

And don’t give a sh*t.

Be that dog!

Be that man!