Hey brother,
Are you a master communicator? Do you have many people motivated and driven to follow your instructions at work? And as they do, I bet everything works smoothly and productively, right?
The business grows, people are successful and fulfilled, more money comes in and everyone is happy.
Simple.
Until you get back home that is.
At home it's a different environment.
You're not the leader, she is.
So we bring out our trusted "get shit done"
logical mindset and get ready to negotiate and deal out the instructions for how the relationship should work better.
We especially do this around sex, physical affection and
intimacy.
Why?
Because we're not skilled in recognising and utilising our sexual energy around her.
The truth is that it's a very creative and proactive energy when used in the right way.
But we usually react to the urgent rush of arousal and desire by getting up in our
head, analysing the situation and wanting to "talk" about it.
This conversation is called, “Let’s talk about why I am right and why you’re wrong.”
This is the most aggravating, angering, unattractive, non-sexy, belittling, and judgmental conversation you can have with your romantic partner.
It suffocates ANY preexisting feelings of connection, intimacy, attraction, trust, or respect.
Do it too much and you progress to the next phase of a declining relationship called the: “I resent you and your self-righteous ass so much I can’t imagine being alone with you let alone letting you touch me”, stage.
We’ve all done it from time to time. Once in a while it is forgivable. But if it becomes a pattern, you’re doomed.
Does this apply to both men and women?
Absolutely.
So what's the solution?
Romance 101
By romance I’m talking about that safe, comfortable, trusting, cozy, mushy-mushy feeling of being accepted, approved, desired, and even CELEBRATED by your partner.
It’s based in the simple chemistry of mutual attraction, trust, respect, and adoration.
Getting to that point is so easy early in our
relationships, isn’t it?
Why?
Because we haven’t had time to screw it up yet.
How do we screw it up?
By doing anything perceived by your partner to be unattractive, distrustful, disrespectful, and unadoring.
It never matters what we meant or what we intended.
When our lovers perceive our thoughts, words, and actions as destructive or unhealthy, it’s time to stop and take a look at what we’re doing.
It’s called, “self-awareness”.
It’s about
caring about your energy and how you impact the feelings of others. And it’s enormously important when it comes to knowing when to change gears. Change the tone. Change the energy.
I talk about this more in the video below:
