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You might think I'm going to talk about how to stop criticizing your wife here.
Nope. I think that will stop naturally when you realize WHY both husbands and wives criticize each other to start with.
And THAT's the deeper meaning in this little piece of urinal wisdom.
It's about the word PERFECT.
Every husband and wife in the world has an avatar of the "PERFECT SPOUSE" in their head.
It's our imagination of how our partner COULD BE or SHOULD BE that creates all of those negative thoughts.
The mere THOUGHT that "she's not as I think she should be" leads to nasty thinking, critical thoughts and then...hurt feelings and instant detachment.
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She's NOT Perfect...And Neither are You
That's the whole point.
Imperfect people who like to criticize each other are kind of funny.
It's funny because we don't even see what we're doing.
We take our own insecure thoughts about ourselves and project them onto others.
Whatever we quietly feel shame about...we are sure to point it
out in criticisms of our partner.
And sometimes we criticize each other thinking it's going to somehow get us more attention, love, appreciation and respect.
Kind of silly, huh?
Your 7-Day Challenge
If you accept and
complete the challenge, it will blow your mind.
You're about to give your wife or girlfriend the world's biggest 7-Day Gift.
Starting right now...at this moment...make a promise to yourself to do the following for 7 full days.
- Immediately STOP complaining to her, criticizing her and blaming her for ANYTHING.
- Pick your chin up, put your chest out and shoulders back and DECIDE NOW that NOTHING will take you out of this frame of mind.
- With every conversation and text message exchange ASSUME THE BEST IN HER. Talk with her like a lover and a partner who needs nothing but to release her of your judgment, criticism and disappointment. It will help if you can see her at times as a pure hearted 7-year-old who just skinned her knee. This means she can't hurt you. She is not a threat to
you.
- Maintain calm, deliberate eye contact with her when she talks. And when she does talk, LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND her. Don't not plan your rebuttal or reply. Don't try to be understood and verbally vomit on her. No need. You're good.
- OWN YOUR EMOTIONS! Do not allow your "little boy" do the talking for you. Soothe yourself. Grin more. Play more. And stop taking yourself so damn seriously!
I was married for 28 years. I wish I had ONE PERSON who would have taught me this 7-Day Challenge. I wish I could go back in time and do this.
Because that's impossible, I want YOU to do it for me.
Send me an email in 7 days and let me know how YOU felt being that man. This is not
about her response to you...it's about how damn GOOD it feels to operate under your own terms.
And...yeah...she's going to wonder what hit her in a
really good way.
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