It’s gonna be a BIG payday for the card companies, florists, and candy sellers this weekend. It’s estimated that people in the US alone will spend about 22 Billion dollars this year on Valentine’s Day!
That is a lot of frickin’ chocolate.
But if you haven’t had sex for months, she says she needs space, or you are separated, V-day does not promise to be a fun-fest of hearts and flowers.
You may feel anxious and worried about how you should celebrate, if you should acknowledge it at all, and wondering what she is thinking about it.
Well, we can give you an idea of what most women in this position feel when approaching this day:
PRESSURE and ANXIETY
Your wife is very sensitive to pressure. She feels it intuitively in her body. And her reaction to that pressure is to back further away.
You probably already know in your heart that there is nothing you can do on this one day that’s going to turn everything around. A romantic dinner is not going to make her do a 180.
So. Should you do anything? Get her a gift? Avoid it entirely? That depends.
First and foremost, you must be very clear about your motivation. If you can confidently say that the ONLY intention you have is to make her life better (with or without you) then, by all means, go right ahead.
But if you’re totally honest with yourself and recognize that what you are secretly hoping is that your display of affection will manipulate your wife’s feelings about you, then it’s probably a bad idea.
Trust us, your wife can sense any ulterior motives. Those covert intentions will make you look needy and desperate.
And no woman ever said, “Honey, I find your deep sense of insecurity and anxious behavior such a turn on!”
Also, do NOT get her lingerie or a sex toy. I'm sure you know this, but some things just have to be said.
What should you do instead? Here are some ideas that you might consider:
• Get her a card. That’s it. Choose one that acknowledges how much you value and admire her, not one intended to make her feel guilty about how steadfast your love is in the face of her having one foot out the door.
• If you have young daughters, you could plan a special outing with them. Lunch with dad somewhere they’d like. Some candy wouldn’t hurt either.
• If you have boys or both, you could plan to take everyone out for a family thing. If your wife is not keen on the idea of spending time together, you could tell her that you’re taking over child duty so she can have some relaxing time to herself without having to deal with them.
• No kids and your wife doesn’t want to see you? Go out with your (single) buddies to do something you enjoy. Do NOT mope around the house hoping that she’ll notice and give you some affection.
The bottom line is, if your marriage is crashing and your wife is giving you the cold shoulder, don’t make a big deal out of this one day.
It’s is so much more important how you think and behave the other 364 days of the year.
Treating her with consistent, daily kindness, empathy, and respect while working on becoming the best version of yourself is tons more effective than a fancy dinner at an over-priced restaurant.
And that’s exactly what we teach men to do.
In fact, by participating in our retreats, private coaching, and courses, literally hundreds of men have regained their confidence, taken back control of their lives, and created the kind of relationships that they truly want.
Right now, in honor of this harrowing “holiday”, we are offering a whopping 50% savings on:
