When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change
ourselves.
~ Viktor E. Frankl - A Man's Search for Meaning
Allow me to say this as plainly as possible. No more lofty quotes.
After the shell shock of hearing "I want space." or "I'm not in love with you." or "I think we need to divorce." is over, you have only ONE effective choice to make.
That choice is to learn something and grow from it.
I know your first instinct is to scream, argue, analyze, investigate and FIX things so you can get back to your regularly scheduled program.
Here's a message from the Emergency Broadcast System:
It's too late. You're already into a new program. The old program has been cancelled.
The next questions are always WHAT should I do? And HOW can I see this in any other way than total devastation??
You could write a book to answer those questions. Actually I did.
Let me give you the CliffNotes version
- You should step back and stop what you're doing right now. Just stop.
- Release all pressure including angry outbursts, accusations, arguing and those long, deep, heavy conversations.
- Find at least ONE initiated man who has already been in this war and emerged victoriously and talk with him regularly.
- Take a deeeep breath and begin a spiritual journey of knowing ALL good things in your life will come from leaning into discomfort and looking for the gift and opportunity.
- Decide you WILL learn from this and figure out how to change yourself in the face of unchangeable circumstances.
- BELIEVE deep in your heart that you're okay at this moment and you will be okay...no matter what happens.
That last one is especially important and especially difficult for many men.
They have no basis for this belief and, therefore, no ability to even imagine being "okay" in any other scenario than the one they were expecting.
In coaching we are able to DIVE MUCH DEEPER into those expectations and those insecure feelings of abandonment, rejection and emotional evisceration. As I mention in the video, a man can reach a vantage point in this process that LIBERATES him from those
feelings.
Sadness? Yes. Guilt? Yep. Regret? Almost certainly.
But shame, suffering and illusions of devastation are a CHOICE.
And therein lies the big secret.
Change your thoughts and you will change your reality.
I would love you to join Dan and I at a different vantage point. The view here is awesome.
You don't have to do this all by yourself, grab a free 90 minute consultation call with us to dive long and deep into what you
want in your future and get some immediate ideas and guidance on how to create it.
So...let me ask you two questions.
What are you THINKING right now?
What OTHER thoughts are actually more true and more empowering for you?
Lotta love brother,
Steve & Dan
