Hey,
It's a pretty ominous title, I know. But it's true.
Backed by John Gottman's statistical marriage research (did this really need research?)...this relationship behavior is the #1 predictor of divorce.
What is is it?
It's CONTEMPT.
Contempt (noun): the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.
It's a fancy word for the hateful actions, spiteful words or negative regard one person has toward another.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of it? How about the giving end?
As I explain in this video, contempt has many faces.
Sometimes it's disguised as common sarcasm, cynicism or "just kidding".
When it's done with the intent to criticize, judge or shame someone...it's almost always coming from a place of fear.
This fear is usually based in a feeling of shame - a fear that you are actually unworthy.
As Brene Brown points out in her book Men, Women and Worthiness, when someone is shaming another you can bet it's about something they feel shame about within themselves.
This is extremely important to understand whether you're on the receiving or giving end of contempt.
Watch the video for more information about contempt and how to stop it.