Why Your Wife Silently Pukes When YOU Get Emotional

Published: Sun, 12/19/21

Hey,

Brené Brown (renowned expert on shame and vulnerability) relates what a man said to her after a lecture:

“I like what you had to say…but my wife and daughters? They’d rather see me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall off. You say you want us to be vulnerable and real, but c’mon. You can’t stand it. It makes you sick to see us like that.”

This email is bound to tick off those who believe “it shouldn’t be like that”.

Sorry…but for scads of married men, it is like that.

The cold, hard truth is millions of “openly vulnerable husbands” (OVH) face the anger, disgust, and withdrawal of their wives every day. Even in our age of “conscious men and women”, there are still more questions than answers to the modern marriage and the husbands we help.

Can You be Both Masculine and Vulnerable at the Same Time?

Of course, you can. Men have equal rights and access to their fears, tears, uncertainty, insecurity and unbridled emotional expression. And exercising those rights does not make a man less “masculine”. Masculinity always contains the full range of human emotion. That’s not remotely debatable in our book.

The question is “Can a husband reasonably expect to sustain his masculine attractiveness to his wife if his emotional vulnerability is unchecked, uncontrolled and unregulated?”

In most cases, we believe the answer is no.

I explain WHY in this 3-minute video I made just for you.

Why Your Wife Silently Pukes When YOU Get Emotional

The Consequences of Becoming a “Hummingbird Husband”

Masculine vulnerability is NOT neediness.

Neediness is collapsing into helplessness while handing your power over to another person, expecting that it is their responsibility to “fix” things for you and make you feel okay.

When a man loses confidence in himself and begins to look to his wife for constant validation and reassurance, the passionate sexual attraction begins to drain out the relationship for her.

It’s when his energy becomes more nervous, unbalanced, unstable, and “needy” that she begins to freeze up and pull away. And the more she does, the more insecure and pursuing he becomes: a downward spiral.

We call this the Hummingbird Husband Syndrome. And the results can be disastrous.

As she loses more and more respect and attraction, many men suddenly hear their wives say something like,

“I will always love you, but I’m not IN love with you anymore.”

And the next thing you know, separation and even divorce are on the table.

This tipping point is the time most of the men we work with show up in free-fall with their hair on fire trying to figure out what just happened.

We created our online course for men, How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb to specifically help men whose marriages are teetering on the brink or even gone over the edge.

The short clip below is from one of the lessons in our program that describes what it means to have “hummingbird energy” in your marriage and what the alternative is. Check it out:

What to Do When Your Wife Calls You "Needy"

"The Difference Between a Hummingbird and a Mountain Lion"

This video is just a small taste of the over 9 hours of core coaching content that makes up the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb program for men.

In this intensive course and the men’s community that is part of it, we give you the straight talk lessons on how to become a confident man who can quickly bring attractive new energy to his marriage.

It’s not your fault that you don’t know this stuff – this is what your dad didn’t tell you (probably because he didn’t know either!).

www.HowToDefuseTheDivorceBomb.com

Between now and the end of the year, the full program is 50% off the regular price!

That is a HUGE savings off the regular price.

(Don't forget to use the discount code mojo2021)

CLICK HERE to learn all about it and see some more sneak peek clips directedly from the course material.

There IS Something You Can Do Before It’s Too Late

The men we coach in our courses and retreats that have taken swift, positive action have created miracles in their marriages and lives.

What kind of miracles can you create?

You develop a cool, calm, confident swagger that she finds curiously attractive again
You experience a total mindset shift about “needing” her vs. “wanting” her. (she notices this one almost immediately and it makes her nervous AND attracted)
There is laugher together for the first time in months because she can finally relax with you
An unexpected kiss in the morning and/or at night with no clue what you “did right”
A feeling of well-being that replaces the knot in your gut and lets you finally sleep through the night

All of this is possible and more. But it is only through your own personal growth that you can have the amazing relationship you want.

And you will drastically accelerate your confidence and growth by working with other men who are also in that process.

Lotta love, brother,

Steve

Lotta love, brother,

Steve Horsmon and Tim Wade

P.S. There is also a "No B.S. 100% Money-Back Guarantee" that comes with the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb course, so you really have nothing to lose.

P.P.S. Here's a common question we get about the course. (You can find more at the bottom of the info page)

How can I know if it's already too late for me and buying this course would just be a waste of time?

Good question. Defusing your particular divorce bomb may not be possible. It's could be that your wife is so emotionally and mentally unhealthy that she's entirely unwilling and incapable of being the partner you want in your life. It's also possible she is so totally done and checked out that she has a brand new life planned that doesn't include you.

And it's possible that YOU may become so clear and confident in what you expect of yourself and for yourself that you're the one who decides to let the bomb go off.

The bigger point is this. If your instincts tell you there is something still worth working for then you must do this work. And guess what? We know that even if your chances of saving this version of your marriage are low...you must do this work! Every single man we coach who has done this work and wound up divorced discovers something amazing. He doesn't die! Not only that...he thrives like he never imagined.

www.HowToDefuseTheDivorceBomb.com

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