Hey,
Do you ever feel like you're chasing affection and she's running the other way?
Do you ever feel like the BEST relationship you'll ever have is just walking on eggshells and not pissing each other off?
Many smart, accomplished and otherwise confident men think their only relationship option is settling because they don't know what else to do.
Or they are getting some really bad marriage counseling advice.
Some conventional counseling wisdom uses Attachment Theory to explain unhappy and dysfunctional relationships.
To simplify the theory the basic premise is this:
We show up to our relationships either emotionally SECURE or emotionally INSECURE.
Emotional security is good for your relationship. Insecurity can cause all kinds of problems.
Well meaning counselors sometimes teach their clients, because insecurity is normal, they need to just get better at being insecure.
They teach each partner how to get better at understanding the other partner's triggers and learn to stop triggering. They teach these couples to nurture those wounds and be a better "wound lickers" (my term, not theirs). And when both people get better at being wound lickers then the relationship can get better.
I'm not saying this is inaccurate psychoanalysis. It just isn't effective and, frankly, sounds like a hellish way to be in a relationship.
I'm saying you can do much, much better. You can actually become a healthy, secure man everywhere in your life and relationships.
This is a much more enjoyable and effective place to be in your relationship.
I shot this video on this topic and got a little carried away.
