Question:    

Every time I ask my wife about our relationship all I ever here is “I don’t know.” I asked her if we should go to counseling.  I asked her if she sees us moving forward together.  I asked her when she will be able to forgive me. “I don’t know” is all I get for a response.  What do I do to move forward?

Answer: 

 I remember the day I moved myself out of “Limbo Land.”

 

Limbo Land was that awful place in life where I felt completely stuck in my circumstances and unable to move forward.  I hated where I was, but too scared to move forward.  I was waiting and it was driving me nuts.

 

It was 6 months into our separation, and I was waiting for her to come back into the marriage and work on things.

 

Waiting for her to see the new me.

 

Waiting for her to get a new perspective and fall back in love with me.

 

Waiting…

 

And waiting…

 

I was getting more and more frustrated by her inability to change.  Frustrated by her inability to want to work on our relationship.

 

My mentor and coach must have felt my frustration and challenged me to do something.  He challenged me to follow my heart and move back into my home I left home six months prior. I had high hopes of healing and moving forward with my wife.

 

He challenged me to take ACTION.

 

So, I did. 

 

I packed up my meager possessions and headed to my old home on a Sunday morning.

 

I saw her and calmly declared, “I am moving back home.”

 

* DISASTER ALERT! * 😊

 

My wife exploded into a rage filled tirade and completely undressed me emotionally.  I wasn’t prepared for the continuous accusations, blame, criticisms, and pure anger she was displaying.

 

“Who do you think you are?!!?”

“How dare you continue this abuse!”

“How dare you do this to the kids! Don’t you even care about them?” (this one hurt the most)

 

From my point of view, I was trying something, anything, to bring the family back together, not tearing it farther apart.

 

It was hell.  It was a good 20 minutes of trying to hear her.  I must be honest, though.  I was stunned into silence.  I was in a shame spiral of tornado like proportions and unable to focus.

 

Through the dust and the smoke I was able to find what I really came home for.

 

Clarity.

 

I finally stopped her with a hand up and stated, “We will never do that to each other again. I am done fighting with you.”

 

I walked out.  I never moved back home that day.

 

I went there thinking I was going to get what I wanted.  I left, receiving exactly what I needed.

 

Clarity is found when you walk through the fog to the other side.  It takes one step forward to see a new perspective.

 

My actions that day led me to my next clear and decisive step.

 

I had to change my own position for something new to be seen.

 

I had to take action.

 

What action can you take to change the world around you?

 

I encourage any man who wants to see his life, relationship, and direction from a new perspective to join myself, Coach Dennis Collins, and Steve Horsmon at our Golf Retreat.  It will be a life changing event for you.  There is so much more than you can imagine available for you.  Take ACTION now, it will change your life.  Visit the link below and sign up now.

 

https://www.manoflegacy.org/2021-grounded-man-golf-retreat

 

Thoughts From The Woodshop

 

I tell people I am an excellent woodworker simply because I am not afraid to “cut the board.”

 

In other words – the fear of making a mistake doesn’t hold me back in this profession. (It did hold me back in relationship though)

 

I am not saying there is not time for taking proper measurements.

 

Sometimes the old adage – measure twice, cut once – is wisdom at its finest.

 

What I am saying is that you can’t build anything unless you start taking action.  You have to start by risking the board and making a cut.

 

I’ve seen men around me in the shop delay themselves and the project for fear of making mistakes.  They are unsure of their abilities and remain slow and stagnant.

 

The ones who succeed are the ones making a trail of sawdust in their path.

 

I will say I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way!  Still do!

 

I have come up short more times that I care to divulge. (that’s what the board stretcher is made for! haha ;) 

 

Each time a mistake was made – I have gotten better at my job.

 

It’s so true in life too.

 

Cut the board.  See if it fits.  If it doesn’t, grab another one and try again.  That’s the only way it will get built.

 

Where to go from here? 

 

I see you man. I see that you are ready to engage, you are ready to create something new. I see that you are ready to pick up the tools we have available and get back to building something in your life that is beautiful, impactful, and meaningful. I look forward to seeing it! 

Most of us men spend a lot of time in our heads.  We have conversations with ourselves but never show that thinking and feeling side to anyone else.

 
We want to help you fix that.

We want to show you what it’s like to speak with a man who has lived what you’re going through.  It’s rare to feel totally seen, heard and valued by another man.

We hear it all the time. 

“Get out of my head dude!  How did you know exactly what’s going on in my kitchen!”

Our free discovery calls are not like anything you might imagine.

This is NOT a sales pitch.

This is NOT “taster session”.

This is a deep dive into your scariest and most vulnerable thoughts.  And we require you plan for at least a full hour to connect.

Why do we do it this way?

Simple.

We live to serve men.  We live to light a spark of realization in your mind that change is possible. Confidence is natural.  And becoming empowered to improve your situation is mandatory.

If you want to talk about our coaching programs, groups and courses, that may take another call. 

First things first.  Let’s get you moving in the right direction for now.

Click HERE now to schedule your personal conversation.

And if you want to send Matt Epsky a personal message about this Q&A email, you can email him at matt@goodguys2greatmen.com