The One Thing She Needs Most Before Getting Naked

 

Welcome back, brother!

 

We are continuing our weekly Happy Man Mindset email where we discuss topics from the Goodguys2Greatmen community.

 

My name is Charlie McKeever from Austin, Texas.  As a senior member in the community and Certified Goodguys2Greatmen coach, I share with you my personal journey as well as insights from walking and talking with men here in the community. The perspective I have gained from them have fundamentally changed me, my marriage, and my life.

 

Three years ago my wife avoided me, only gave me one word answers to questions and eventually told me she wanted a divorce. Today she regularly tells me she loves me on her own. She enjoys spending time together and we have open, honest, grown up conversations where she shares her thoughts, feelings, and experiences with me. A lot has changed over the last three years and those changes are what I will continue sharing with you in these emails.

 

Last time I shared how I survived waking up the morning to an empty unfurnished two bedroom apartment and a trial separation.

 

Now I’ll share how I have increased my confidence, strengthened my self-trust, and improved my relationship with my wife, my kids, my extended-family, my friends, my clients, and myself. I’ll also tell you why more women talk to me now than ever before.

 

“How the hell did I get here?” That’s what I fell asleep asking myself after I moved into an unfurnished two bedroom apartment as part of a trial separation.

 

That next morning was tough. I woke up in a sleeping bag, laying on a blow up twin air mattress in an unfurnished two bedroom apartment with all my stuff laying on the floor.

 

On top of that I was already paying for a house, cars, student loans, business contractors, a men’s coach, and now an apartment and duplicate utilities. I had no idea how I was going to make it all work, but I knew that I was fully committed to showing up for me for a change.

 

No matter what happened next in my marriage, I needed to focus on working on me, for me. I was the only person I could guarantee I would be with for the rest of my life, so I was determined to give myself the best chance I could to be happy.

 

So I spread out all of my credit cards on the kitchen island, wrote down all my financial numbers, worked out how to juggle my commitments and came up with a plan to keep things afloat.

 

I’m not gonna lie, that year was an emotionally and financially challenging year, but coaching taught me to value myself, love myself and to see opportunities that I would have otherwise held myself back from in the past. 

 

I was finally able to see myself as worthy of all that life has to offer.

 

Coaching helped me to see that I had been accepting table scraps in my life. I had been the one holding myself back and I wasn’t prepared to accept scraps anymore.

 

My value, my worth, and my identity was something I now had to own for myself.

 

All my life I had told myself I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do because they would be “too expensive”, or worse, my wife wouldn’t like it. I let my fear of losing her approval, acceptance, and love control me and keep me from enjoying my life.

 

She wasn’t doing anything to me, I was doing it.

 

What I hadn’t realized before was that holding myself back had eroded her respect for me and my respect for myself. 

 

That had to change.

 

So that year I traveled all over the U.S. and abroad to meet with men in the community. 

 

I traveled to:

• California
• Mexico
• Pennsylvania
• Washington D.C.
• London
• Vermont

I slept in hostels, on couches, on floors, and in guest beds.

 

I ate with brothers, walked and talked with brothers, and each time I walked away with a deeper level of understanding and clarity about what I wanted, who I was, and what I wanted the next thirty years of my life to look like.

 

Every conversation taught me something, which I then applied in my life. Thought became actions, actions strengthened my self-trust, which ultimately increased my confidence and slowly began to improve all my relationships.

 

Between trips I got involved in:

• improv acting classes
• photography classes
• ukulele classes
• weekly axe throwing leagues
• hiking groups

I was getting out, creating a life for myself and doing the things that interested me, energized me, and made me laugh for a change.

 

Along the way I noticed that everywhere I went, women wanted to talk to me. 

 

As I grew more and more confident, relaxed, and comfortable in my own skin, they opened up to me. They shared their hearts with me.

 

One woman told me how she loved her husband but most of the time he was like a third child she had to take care of. She wished he would take more initiative and help her instead of making her responsible for everything.

 

Another woman told me she didn’t want to get physically naked with her husband because he wouldn’t get emotionally naked with her. 

 

She needed to feel connected to him in her mind and her heart before connecting with him physically.

 

These are the things that women don’t usually tell men and they were telling me...and I was taking mental notes.

 

There’s a lot more to the story of course, but two months after being separated from my wife, I broke my lease and moved back into the family home.

 

In less than 18 months I was able to pay off coaching, student loans, cars, and all credit card debt. My whole mindset shifted. 

 

I found that by supporting brothers who were going through what I had already experienced, I not only encouraged them, but they provided me with valuable insights as well. 

 

In fact, I eventually decided to become a full time men’s coach.

 

I had spent the first half of my life avoiding men, trying to not be like my father, trying to be a nice guy, trying to seek the acceptance, approval, appreciation, and love of women instead. 

 

I had isolated myself from men which had resulted in me having no friends. I had cut myself off from any outside source of masculine energy. 

 

Deciding to spend time with men was a huge change for me.

 

Now I have friends all over the world. I travel regularly. I spend time with myself regularly. I do things that bring me joy and I put my time and energy where I want without worrying about what other people think of me.

 

I now know for certain that I am spending the second half of my life dedicated to walking and talking with men. My mission, until I am dirt, is to help men free themselves from their self-limiting beliefs so they can value, trust, and love themselves fully.

 

That’s why I eventually started three men’s Meetup groups in Austin. We have over 200 men in the groups and regularly get together to support each other, both online and through offline events, like hiking, camping, backyard barbecues, game nights, and happy hours.

 

Today I am a full-time professional men’s coach who helps men avoid divorce while helping them understand their wife, their life, and themselves better.

 

I love working with smart, emotionally sensitive men, who love women and want to be free of the insecurity and nervousness that is holding them back from experiencing joy and fulfillment in life.

 

So, where do you go from here?

 

You are a good guy. You want to be proud of the man you are being and you want your relationship with your wife to be better, but if you could have worked this problem out on your own, you would have done it by now.

 

You need better insights. You need another man to walk and talk with you to help you understand what to do next.

 

You don’t have to go through this alone.  

 

You are not required to join a men’s group or hire a men’s coach. Just be willing to take the first step by reaching out and starting a conversation with someone who understands, will listen, and who cares about you.

 

At this point we always ask you, "What do you want?"

 

It's one of the hardest questions for men to answer.  Why?

 

It seems as if we've been programmed to be afraid of saying what we want! 

 

Only a total jerk would clearly, plainly and unapologetically say out loud what he really wants for himself and his life...right?

 

Wrong. In fact, if you don't decide to clearly state what you want and go after it, nobody else will do it for you.

 

We send you these emails to stimulate your thinking and to stir your emotions.  That's the first step to taking the lead in your life.

 

If this email jolted your thinking...or if it tugged at your heart, then you are being called to stand up and do something.

 

We want to show you what it’s like to speak with a man who has lived what you’re going through.  It’s rare to feel totally seen, heard and valued by another man.

 

Simple.

 

We live to serve men.  We live to light a spark of realization in your mind that change is possible. Confidence is natural.  And becoming empowered to improve your situation is mandatory.

 

If you do want to talk about our coaching programs, groups and courses, that may take another call. 

 

First things first.  Let’s get you moving in the right direction for now.

 

Click HERE now to schedule your personal conversation.

 

And if you want to send Charlie McKeever a personal message about this email, you can email him at charles@happymancoaching.com