Welcome back, brother,

This is our weekly Woodshop Wisdom email and I want to do something different for 12 emails.

 

I want to share with you my first 12 steps to being a better father, husband (someday again) brother, and friend.

 

This might be a little goofy for some and some of you might not even celebrate Christmas, but this idea came to me, and I wanted to write about 12 powerful insights I had.

 

 I hope you can relate to them and they help you move forward.

 

So here it is. Sing along if you like. 😊

 

On these 12 days of Christmas, the insights shared from me…

 

40 more years of living,

A renewed confidence,

A brotherhood to guide me,

A bunch of ladies dancing,

A new way of being,

Clarity on my values,

Forgiveness for my partner,

Forgiveness foooorrrr myyyyyselllffff,

The willingness to seek help,

An open heart and mind,

A foundation of love,

and a feeling I will be okay.

 

Gift #4

The willingness to seek help

 

I remember feeling like I was in a deep, dark hole.  It felt lonely and I was afraid.

 

I think having the feeling I will be okay meant I hit bottom.  I was no longer falling.

 

The foundation of love had me feeling that life would be stable again somehow, some way.

 

Opening my heart and mind to new possibilities meant that there was a climb ahead of me, but it was a climb I was ready to take.

 

Finally having the courage to look up from my hole of misery and see the light that seemed so far away was my next step. 

 

I needed to see for myself how deep I was stuck.

 

What I saw took me by complete surprise.

 

There a man’s face peering down from the top and he said:

 

"Hey brother, I’m sorry, I’ve been down where you are.  I know the way up."

 

Remembering the rush of emotions that flooded my brain when I felt that first connection still brings a dampness to my eyes.

 

How in the world did someone else know these thoughts, these feelings, and this despair I felt? This problem was unique to me.  It was my problem.

 

Here’s the simple truth, though.  I was in this hole I created and he was up there where the sun seemed to be shining, the air was fresh, and he seemed…happy.

 

I wanted some of that.

 

How could he know how terrible this felt and how hopeless this felt and still seem happy?

 

I already knew the behaviors that got me here weren’t working. Maybe he knows something I haven’t unlocked yet?

 

I knew something had to change.

 

I filled out the form.

 

I asked for help.

 

For me, I grew up with a get-it-done-at-all-costs, grind-it-out, you-can-always-work-harder mentality.

 

Seeking help showed weakness.  It meant you couldn’t do it.

 

It meant you were not capable and you were not worthy.

 

That mentality was complete and total bullshit.

 

The truth is, yes, you are on your own unique climb. But, there are footholds and well-worn paths that someone has used before you.

 

Seek the knowledge and wisdom from a trusted guide to elevate your position and support you on your climb.

 

You will never regret time spent listening.

 

You will never regret gaining new perspectives that lead to new insights.

 

You will never regret asking for specific help for your specific needs.

 

You will be thrilled with how fast and how far you can go.

 

I still sometimes laugh at the idea of reaching out to a man on the internet, 1,500 miles away and asking him to help me figure out this damn woman problem I was having. 😊

 

Asking for help that day was the best decision I ever made.

 

It changed my life.  

 

The sunshine and fresh air feels good up here.

 

If you are hesitant to take the fist step and ask for help I strongly encourage you to look up and witness a community of brothers with their hands outstretched asking you to grab hold. 

 

We know the way up.

 

The greatest gift you can give to us is the gift of openly receiving the abundance we have on offer.

 

We are here. Look up. We got you.

 

Thoughts From The Woodshop

 

How many late nights and long weekends have I doggedly worked alone grinding out the last chunks of work by myself hoping it’s enough for Monday morning?

 

Too many to count.

 

I would pridefully and stupidly plow through it alone while simultaneously cuss out in my thoughts all the jerks who left for the day and left me to suffer.

 

I was stubborn and bull-headed.

 

I was and idiot.

 

You see, I applied this “asking for help” mindset to work shortly after I asked for help in my personal life.

 

Lo and behold, it works!

 

I started asking for help. 

 

I explained to my team at work the problems and let them know what my goals were.

 

They gladly and happily pitched in.

 

I got help. They felt useful and important to the overall outcome.

 

It was a win for both of us.

 

As a united team we got projects done faster and we were much more productive.

 

I had to get out of my own way, admit my shortcomings and seek assistance.

 

I now do this in all areas of my life. 

 

I don’t let my ego get in the way of learning any longer.

 

Where to go from here?  

 

I see you man. I see that you are ready to engage, you are ready to create something new. I see that you are ready to pick up the tools we have available and get back to building something in your life that is beautiful, impactful, and meaningful. I look forward to seeing it! 

Most of us men spend a lot of time in our heads.  We have conversations with ourselves but never show that thinking and feeling side to anyone else.

 
We want to help you fix that.

We want to show you what it’s like to speak with a man who has lived what you’re going through.  It’s rare to feel totally seen, heard and valued by another man.

We hear it all the time. 

“Get out of my head dude!  How did you know exactly what’s going on in my kitchen!”

Our free discovery calls are not like anything you might imagine.

This is NOT a sales pitch.

This is NOT “taster session”.

This is a deep dive into your scariest and most vulnerable thoughts.  And we require you plan for at least a full hour to connect.

Why do we do it this way?

Simple.

We live to serve men.  We live to light a spark of realization in your mind that change is possible. Confidence is natural.  And becoming empowered to improve your situation is mandatory.

If you want to talk about our coaching programs, groups and courses, that may take another call. 

First things first.  Let’s get you moving in the right direction for now.

Click HERE now to schedule your personal conversation.

And if you want to send Matt Epsky a personal message about this Q&A email, you can email him at matt@goodguys2greatmen.com