Welcome back, brother,

This is our weekly Woodshop Wisdom email and I want to do something different for 12 emails.

 

I want to share with you my first 12 steps to being a better father, husband (someday again) brother, and friend.

 

This might be a little goofy for some and some of you might not even celebrate Christmas, but this idea came to me, and I wanted to write about 12 powerful insights I had.

 

 I hope you can relate to them and they help you move forward.

 

So here it is. Sing along if you like. 😊

 

On these 12 days of Christmas, the insights shared from me…

 

40 more years of living,

A renewed confidence,

A brotherhood to guide me,

A bunch of ladies dancing,

A new way of being,

Clarity on my values,

Forgiveness for my partner,

Forgiveness foooorrrr myyyyyselllffff,

The willingness to seek help,

An open heart and mind,

A foundation of love,

and a feeling I will be okay.

 

Gift #3

A open heart and mind.

 

Hello again guys.

 

I think back and see the beginning part of my journey a bit like this.

 

The feeling of okay-ness had me realize I wasn’t falling anymore.  I had hit rock bottom of a deep, dark, damp, muddy, hole and I am claustrophobic.  It wasn’t going to get worse, but it also wasn’t too fun down there.

 

The decision to base everything off love had me looking up and seeing a faint light high above where I was in the moment.

 

The idea of love as my foundation had me believing I could climb out.  It was possible.  I had hope.

 

The trouble was I had no f#@%ing clue how to start climbing.

 

I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

 

I think of that fateful, rock-bottom day as the day my ego died.

 

Everything I thought I knew and believed had not worked.

 

I was wrong.

 

I was forced to let go of all the pre-conceived notions and ideas I had about how life works and how to get the love and affection I so obviously desired.

 

I was empty. 

 

This had humbled me enough to realize the rules I have been playing by were wrong.

 

I was open to learn something new.

 

Everything I believed about life and love was on the table to reevaluate.

 

I was open to learn about love.

 

That mindset brought me to late night, desperate google searches and binge-watching relationship videos.

 

I found myself searching for answers and looking for new knowledge to absorb.

 

I stubbled upon a book recommendation that would be my second book.

 

If figuring out how to love myself was the first book, then the second book I found, “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruis, would be the one that kept my heart open to a new understanding of what love is exactly.  Or at the very least, what it could be.

 

It spoke to me from the opening page.

 

“If life is nothing but a dream, and if we are artists, then we can create our life with Love, and our dream becomes a masterpiece of art.”

 

I felt that.

 

I felt the power of having the paintbrush in my hand.

 

I felt the freedom and excitement of believing that I was in control of the designs and details of this new painting.

 

I had no idea how to paint yet, but I had a blank canvas (an open mind and heart) and a willingness to dip my brush and start painting again.

 

It was time to find a master to learn from.

 

It was time to absorb the wisdom from someone who has found himself with a blank canvas, a brush in his hand, and has begun painting their own masterpiece.

 

It was time to ask for help.

 

Thoughts From The Woodshop

 It seems in my industry the saying, “We have been doing it this way for years, why change now?” is a clear sign that a shop isn’t going to keep up.  It isn’t going to last too long.

 

Fortunately, that has not hindered our growth.

 

We live by a different set of rules.

 

If we can learn something new, find a better process or manufacturing technique, we will try it.  There is always a better way.

 

We have a never good enough, never stop learning, never stop improving mentality.

 

Ideas and new perspectives are always welcome and encouraged.

 

We were told one time by a customer, “Your drawer boxes are the strongest I’ve ever seen. You could stand in them, and they wouldn’t break.”

 

That was three re-designs ago.  They’ve gotten better.

 

I have no idea why I didn’t use this mindset in my marriage or my relationships.

 

It seems so simple, but I am guilty of the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” thinking.

 

Except in my case, it was probably more like, “If I don’t acknowledge it’s broke, I don’t have to do anything to repair it because that would mean I’m broken.”

 

Simply put, my ego and what I thought about myself got in the way of being open to learning something new.  It stifled my growth, which ended the growth in my relationship.

 

My advice, learn something new, design something different, engineer a new process, and set yourself to build a unique masterpiece. 

 

Where to go from here?  

 

I see you man. I see that you are ready to engage, you are ready to create something new. I see that you are ready to pick up the tools we have available and get back to building something in your life that is beautiful, impactful, and meaningful. I look forward to seeing it! 

Most of us men spend a lot of time in our heads.  We have conversations with ourselves but never show that thinking and feeling side to anyone else.

 
We want to help you fix that.

We want to show you what it’s like to speak with a man who has lived what you’re going through.  It’s rare to feel totally seen, heard and valued by another man.

We hear it all the time. 

“Get out of my head dude!  How did you know exactly what’s going on in my kitchen!”

Our free discovery calls are not like anything you might imagine.

This is NOT a sales pitch.

This is NOT “taster session”.

This is a deep dive into your scariest and most vulnerable thoughts.  And we require you plan for at least a full hour to connect.

Why do we do it this way?

Simple.

We live to serve men.  We live to light a spark of realization in your mind that change is possible. Confidence is natural.  And becoming empowered to improve your situation is mandatory.

If you want to talk about our coaching programs, groups and courses, that may take another call. 

First things first.  Let’s get you moving in the right direction for now.

Click HERE now to schedule your personal conversation.

And if you want to send Matt Epsky a personal message about this Q&A email, you can email him at matt@goodguys2greatmen.com