Welcome back, brother,

I'm Matt Epsky and this is our weekly Woodshop Wisdom email and I want to do something different for 12 emails.

 

I want to share with you my first 12 steps to being a better father, husband (someday again) brother, and friend.

 

This might be a little goofy for some and some of you might not even celebrate Christmas, but this idea came to me, and I wanted to write about 12 powerful insights I had.

 

Last week I gave you Gift #1.  Today I'm giving you Gift #2.

 

 I hope you can relate to them and they help you move forward.

 

So here it is. Sing along if you like. 😊

 

On these 12 days of Christmas, the insights shared from me…

 

40 more years of living,

A renewed confidence,

A brotherhood to guide me,

A bunch of ladies dancing,

A new way of being,

Clarity on my values,

Forgiveness for my partner,

Forgiveness foooorrrr myyyyyselllffff,

The willingness to seek help,

An open heart and mind,

A foundation of love,

and a feeling I will be okay.

 

Gift #2

A foundation of love.

 

If you read last week’s article you might remember that I was in a state of feeling despair, anguish, heartache, and emptiness.  You might remember similar feelings in your own story.  You might be feeling that right now.

 

I needed the first insight I was going to be okay.

 

Yes, everything I thought I knew had just flown the coup, but I was going to be okay.  Just like you are brother.

 

The next insight was going to wash over me like a warm breeze. 

 

Even though it felt like I was lost with no clue on where to turn I saw what was to be my miracle.

 

I was in my truck trying to escape it all when my personal meltdown happened.  I was driving, staring blankly at the pavement rushing by under my truck when I saw written in the middle of the road, in white paint teenagers use for graffiti, were the words:

 

I LOVE U

 

That was the first thing that registered in my brain after hitting rock bottom.

 

Three simple words that I’ve heard used countless times and countless ways.

 

Those three words – I love you – were going to be the foundation of every step I would take moving forward.  It would be the basis of every decision I would be faced with.

 

I didn’t know what those next steps looked like, but I knew that I was about to take myself somewhere new.

 

My feet were going to be firmly planted on new ground.

 

Instead of basing my life decisions on “If I work harder, I will deserve this” or “I am broken and I need fixing” or “If you love me I will be okay.”

 

No, my entire life is going to based off something I have never tried before. 

 

I am going to love myself first.

 

Why not, right?  My other foundational beliefs have gotten me to this point.  Why not try something different!?!?

 

Hmmm, next question…how in the hell am I supposed to do that?

 

Honestly, it went through my mind almost instantly.  I would be doing something I never tried before. 

 

I didn’t know how to do it yet, but I knew (just like your brain is screaming to you right now – “yes, that! We should try that!”) that my insanely active monkey-mind finally relaxed and said, “Whew, he heard us guys, he finally listened to us.”

 

(Did I just reveal that I have voices in my head that aren’t always nice to me? Yikes…am I the only one…okkkayyyy…awkward)

 

Back to the story.

 

I was okay.  I wanted to ground myself in love.  I didn’t know what to do next.

 

So, I found a book that seemed to be titled just for me.

 

The book was “Love yourself like your life depended on it” by Kamal Ravikant.

 

Seemed fitting.

 

In that book was a story of a guy I could relate to.  He tried things I hadn’t tried before.

 

I followed his advice and stared into a mirror, not breaking eye contact with myself for a minute, and voiced out loud, “I love myself.”

 

I cried.  Something is up with this.

 

I read some more of his advice and walked around most of the day repeating in my head, “I love myself” over and over again each time my mind chatter would try to focus on my separated wife and the car-wreck of a marriage.

 

I did that for a week straight until even I was tired of hearing myself say it.

 

The cruel voices had stopped though.

 

I read his one question and it held with me to this day.

 

“If I loved myself truly and deeply, would I let myself experience this?”

 

Ravikant, Kamal. Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It (p. 28)

 

All of these neat little tricks worked for me.

 

It opened a whole new world of possibilities.

 

I’m not saying these mental tricks will work for you or that there is some one-size fits all cure.

 

I am saying the foundation needs to be LOVE and you need to start walking your path with your feet grounded in it.

 

Find whatever works for you and begin to believe that you are loved.

 

You are loved no matter what.

 

If you haven’t believed this for yourself yet, try something new and believe it.

 

I love you. You matter to me.

 

Thoughts From The Woodshop

 From that rough piece of lumber to a new path is created for it.

 

I no longer build cabinets for money.  I don’t do it for praise or accolades either.

 

No, with every piece I design I am selling something different.

 

I am selling love that takes its form in the shape cabinetry.

 

That piece of wood is going to add a bit of joy into someone’s life. 

 

It’s going to enhance their home and provide them with something functional that is made with care and an understanding of their desires.

 

I’m going to wake up each morning excited to create something from a place of love.

 

That mindset shift was a key to the development my character.

 

I wasn’t chasing anything anymore.  I already had it.  Now, I can give it.

 

This is going to fun.

 

Where to go from here?  

 

I see you man. I see that you are ready to engage, you are ready to create something new. I see that you are ready to pick up the tools we have available and get back to building something in your life that is beautiful, impactful, and meaningful. I look forward to seeing it! 

Most of us men spend a lot of time in our heads.  We have conversations with ourselves but never show that thinking and feeling side to anyone else.

 
We want to help you fix that.

We want to show you what it’s like to speak with a man who has lived what you’re going through.  It’s rare to feel totally seen, heard and valued by another man.

We hear it all the time. 

“Get out of my head dude!  How did you know exactly what’s going on in my kitchen!”

Our free discovery calls are not like anything you might imagine.

This is NOT a sales pitch.

This is NOT “taster session”.

This is a deep dive into your scariest and most vulnerable thoughts.  And we require you plan for at least a full hour to connect.

Why do we do it this way?

Simple.

We live to serve men.  We live to light a spark of realization in your mind that change is possible. Confidence is natural.  And becoming empowered to improve your situation is mandatory.

If you want to talk about our coaching programs, groups and courses, that may take another call. 

First things first.  Let’s get you moving in the right direction for now.

Click HERE now to schedule your personal conversation.

And if you want to send Matt Epsky a personal message about this Q&A email, you can email him at matt@goodguys2greatmen.com